Seeketh not her own

Three times a week my girls and I have been attending a Barre class together.

We work hard together, sweat together, smell each other, 

and laugh (during class) together.

We've been focusing on our thoughts and feelings on 

positive and healthy body image.

It's hard sometimes to feel accepted

 and loved in society today. 

I certainly don't fit in and sometimes it is so painful.

I have so many other thoughts and feelings about this topic.

But today all I want to share this is beautiful counsel

and my gratitude for wonderful Church leaders who 

write knock-it-out-of-the-park words like this:

"I remember well the insecurities I felt as a teenager with a bad case of acne.

 I tried to care for my skin properly. 

My parents helped me get medical attention. 

For years I even went without eating chocolate and all the greasy

 fast foods around which teens often socialize, 

but with no obvious healing consequences.

 It was difficult for me at that time to fully appreciate this body 

that was giving me so much grief. But my good mother taught me a higher law.

 Over and over she said to me, “You must do everything you can

 to make your appearance pleasing, but the minute you walk out the door, 

forget yourself and start concentrating on others.”

There it was. She was teaching me the Christlike principle of selflessness. 

Charity, or the pure love of Christ, 

“envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own”

  When we become other-oriented, or selfless, 

we develop an inner beauty of spirit that glows in our outward appearance.

 This is how we make ourselves in the Lord’s image rather

 than the world’s and receive His image in our countenances."

Thank you Susan W. Tanner for that beautiful

Spiritual Enlightenment!

Happy weekend!

THIRTY-EIGHT

Today I turn 38 years old.

Here are some highlights while I was 37

June:

Claire leaves my nest and heads to Samoa on a

 humanitarian trip with HEFY. It was a big step for Claire

as a teenager, and for me as a mother:

July:

We visit the temple in South Carolina for the first time.

It was a family affair!

August:

Back to School Feast complete with new theme!

September:

Hurricane Florence invades North Carolina (and other states).

We host two adorable missionaries at our home for nearly a week.

October:

Our family does it again!

 RV trip across some of the Eastern United States.

We also visit our little old home in New Jersey:

November:

We spend Thanksgiving with family here in North Carolina.

 I appreciate good food and friends during the holidays:

December:

The greatest Christmas present I could ever receive was

 SNOW in Chapel Hill!:

January:

Jane writes her feelings down for a paper at school

 about the accident ten years ago.

Melts my heart:

February:

Spending the Lovers Holiday with my favorite person:

March:

I still have it!:

April:

Spring break at the beach!

May:

I fly back to Utah where I was inducted in my

 high school Hall of Fame with my brother Topher.

June:

Finally the Nielson sisters have LICENSES!!!!!!

 Thirty seven years down many more to go....I hope!

Summer talk

I have two teenage daughters who feel more like adults.

We had a heart-to-heart tonight complete with tears and heartache.

We ironed out some things, talked about issues, and got about

40 misquote bites walking around the muggy soccer field 

with Angus and Lottie in tow.

It's hard for me to encourage my girls to "act their age" 

when they so badly want to move ahead.

It's been interesting and frustrating to find the balance in this situation.

They still have so much growing up to do, 

and so many experiences to have with kids their age.

But a lot of the time they don't feel like they fit in,

and I know how they feel.  

I probably have an adult-type version of this problem.

I often feel anti-social and tend go inward and gravitate to people

who I am most comfortable with (Christian).

  Often that means I avoid

and turn down social events and experiences for more comfortable situations. 

The balance is being able to put people before what I want, or what

I think would be fun because it's not all about me,

or about what I can get out of it.

And I believe that once the girls and I figure that out,

we will be so much happier in our lives and with ourselves.

So our summer talk was just as much for me as it was for them.

I am so proud of my girls!

They are smart, motivated, kind, and have so much light.

They have plans for the future and include God in all their decisions.

And really, I couldn't ask for anything more.

Happy SECOND Birthday Angus

Happy second birthday to Mr. Angus Wrangler Nielson.

We celebrated his special day with a chicken leg smothered with two eggs,

beef jerky bits, topped with whipped cream and a candle.

We love our little big black dog.

 I hope we get to spend many more years

 with this sweet dude, he bring us so much joy!

Favorite Angus posts:

Welcome Angus

Angus saves us from a deadly rattler

Angus breaks his leg

Angus goes cross-country

Angus gets his portrait done

What are you reading this summer?

Last Saturday I took my girls to the bookstore to end our girls week.

I told them they could each pick out a new book, but

since when did Barnes & Noble become a toy store?

I took Lottie upstairs to the children's section which

basically was a toy store with a few books.

We sat in the little wooden kid chairs together to read.

 My hips barely fit.

In fact, I think I stood up and the chair came with me.

My girls were lazily wandering around the store downstairs, and 

probably could have stayed longer if I'd had let them.

(For two summers in high school, I worked as a Barista in the cafe.

It brings back so many memories every time 

I go into that store and take a whiff.)

Anyway, when it was time to go I told Lottie to pick her book, 

but she wanted the unicorn stuffed animal.

Well, that led for a super disappointing day because

I was serious about my only-books policy, and so she left the store in tears.

I kept trying to get her excited about a Amelia Bedila book

that I bought (for her!). No such luck ( yet).

As we were in line to check out, we noticed a sign that read:

Look who made the LIST!!!!!! (wink)

Heaven is Here

Clue 1998

Last night I was on Facebook responding to a friend who lives

 in Utah regarding our

20-year high school reunion coming up this July.

Sadly I won't be able to attend since I live 2000 miles away now,

(and I have a little anxiety thinking about the plane travel).

Then Lottie came over and sat on my lap while I typed.

She commented on a photo that my friend Julianne

 had posted of us and our cheer squad (and dates)

 at our High School Halloween dance in 1998.

We are characters from the movie Clue.

I was the maid Yvette minus the cleavage and blonde hair.

In fact, my hair was super short.

It brings back so many good memories that I have

 of every single person in that photo. 

The last time I saw most of them was when we graduated 20 years ago.

(Except my cousin Katie (kneeling), whose date is Trent, whose little brother 

Andrew married my sister Lucy).

I have mixed feelings about reunions- all reunions of every kind.

I struggle with them because I am much better at small groups

and connecting with people one-on-one.

And I've changed so much physically, 

and it scares me a little bit.

I miss Christian so much that I've been listening to

 INXS non-stop because it reminds me of him.

My three Boy Scouts get home Saturday night, and

I'm counting down the hours.
* * * *

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SUMMER!!

Spiritual Enlightenment: Where Do I Make My Stand?

By My Side.

With Mr. Nielson and the boys gone all this week at Scout camp,

I think I've lived on 5 hours of sleep total.

The problem starts when I lay my head down on my pillow because  

then I toss and turn and can't fall asleep.

Finally, when I do get a little shut-eye, it only lasts a few hours.

Last night I lay in my bed awake until 3:00 when 

I decided to walk up the dark stairs and climb into bed with Lottie.

I fell asleep but woke back up at 5:00 am.

I admit that I am severely dependent on my husband for sleep.

I like having him close because I feel safe and protected.

Plus, it's just more comfortable.

These past few nights have conjured up some words from the song

"By My Side" by INXS (Mr. Nielson's favorite band).

"In the dark of the night

Those small hours

Uncertain and anxious

I need to call you...In the dark of night

By my side

In the dark of night

By my side

I wish you were

I wish you were."

(It's a good song).

After Lottie's STEM camp in the late afternoon, 

I took her with me to run a few errands before we had to pick up

Clane at their FFA conference in Raleigh.

 Lottie and I grabbed dinner together and

the only ones in the usually busy restaurant,

which was kind of a unique experience.

In between bites, Lottie danced around the empty tables

 and I snapped photos of her.

Then "By My Side" came on over the speakers,

I think it was a sign.

Then I received a phone call, it was Mr. Scout trooper Nielson!

I was so excited to hear his voice.  I know it's only been four days 

since we saw or spoke last, but it feels like years!

He was on his way home from Tennessee, where the

boys finished a white-water rafting adventure!

Everyone is safe and sound, and as it

 turns out--he isn't sleeping very well either.

Saturday can't come soon enough.

Future Farmers of America

Yesterday I attended the North Carolina state FFA convention in Raleigh.

Jane received third in the state for dairy judging! 

As I sat through the convention I admit, I got choked up several times.

First of all, I appreciated that they prayed to God before the meeting began.

I love that these kids recognize God's hand in their lives and their work.

And I LOVED the dedication and awareness they

 have for the earth, and all things on it. 

 FFA kids are leading, and teaching, and growing, and

have an enormous impact in their communities with
 animal husbandry, land usage, and science.

I had a really great enlightening conversation with the girls at lunch
about the difference between
the worlds view on animal rights vs. animal respect and welfare.

I really enjoyed listening to the wisdom and insight they've gained

since joining FFA. It's really impressive and informed.

We have a responsibility to care for, and protect animals and 

our land in responsible and informed ways.

I am so glad my girls are getting hands-on experience now through FFA.

Jane is participating in the dairy food preparation today.

She will be identifying milk by taste and smell.

It's going to be a good day.  Can't wait.

Meanwhile....

The Scouts are alive and doing well in the mountains.

(I heard it rained all night long).

What Motherhood Taught Me

Eleven years ago I was a younger mom, I mean obviously I was younger

but sometimes when I think back on those days in my life or see photos of me,

I know I look visibly different, (and not because I am 11 years younger)

but because of the accident, and it's a weird feeling.
It took so much from me.

Sometimes I see old photos of me and 

think I'm looking at a sister who died young, or it could be
my younger sister Lucy, (and sometimes I think I'm Claire!).

Those days seem sooooo far away.

But that was me, and I DID have those experiences.

I have to remind myself of that from time to time.
And today I remembered.

Eleven years ago I had four children under five years old, I was teaching yoga, 

and managing a house with a busy husband
who worked long hours, and was learning to fly airplanes.

And I truly loved every single minute of my life because I was fulfilling
a childhood dream.  Motherhood was more to me than long sleepless nights
and monotonous days; and it wasn't just caring for children either.
In the process of my young motherhood days, I
was me discovering me, and what I liked to do.
I discovered that I could cook, and was pretty OK at it too.
I found out I could iron, and felt satisfaction
seeing Mr. Nielson wear neatly pressed shirts to work.
I learned to sew simple projects, and I liked it.
 I painted pictures and proudly hung my goofy paintings around the house in
thrift-store frames.  I  reupholstered several pieces of furniture,
 and turns out, I was good at turning ugly and ordinary things
into functional and sometimes beautiful things.
I was good at getting stains out of clothes,
I could make a mean birthday cake, create and keep traditions,
and throw amazing parties.
I learned to let go of certain expectations, but not settle,
and I learned the importance of being patient with myself and others.
I learned that everyone mothers differently, and noticed how
being critical was taking up too much of my energy and time,
and turning me into someone I didn't like.
I learned how to shake off the haters who seek to demean and undermine my
efforts and abilities.

I learned to listen and share the load with Christian.
I also learned how important it was to take care of myself emotionally,
and my body physically because I could see how directly
 affected my children were to
my moods and my physical health.
I relied heavily on Jesus Christ for answers to hard mothering questions.
I learned how to study from the scriptures and from
 Church leaders to bless my home and make
decisions with a devoted husband by my side.
It wasn't just homemaking, and the ins and outs of creating a home.
I found out things about myself because I dedicated my life
to serving and caring for my children and my husband.
I didn't let motherhood become a chore, but a opportunity to grow,
learn, find, discover, enjoy, and share.

Today after I picked Lottie up from her STEM camp 

we walked into the house where she dropped her bag,
and climbed up on the kitchen stool.

I made her a quesadilla with apples and peanut butter.
I reflected back on that summer of the accident, and I bet eleven years ago today
you'd find me in the kitchen of our little Mesa home cutting up apples for

little hands to dip in peanut butter...
(that is a really popular lunch around our house).

And for just a moment, I felt young again, and I loved it.
But more than that, I felt grateful for what I have learned being a mother.

Speaking of young,

 I still haven't discovered any gray hairs on my head,
not a single one!!!  (Yet).