Beach!!.

Today we spent the day on Topsail Beach.

The weather was divine, and the water warm.

(And no shark sightings anywhere).

It was so nice to relax on the beach with Christian and my Nies.

This summer has been full of twists and turns

and unexpected surprises, and some not-so-great surprises.

So this little trip was so nice to relax together.

But we miss Clane!!!!!

We had dinner and watched the sun sink down.  We talked

with Jane and told her how much we missed her.

Then we headed home.

I love that we live so close to the beach that 

we can have these fun day trips!

Spiritual Enlightenment:

God’s commandments are a manifestation of His love for us,

 and obedience to His commandments is an expression of our love for Him.

If Ye Love Me, Keep My Commandments

Reality, Faith, & Responsibility.

 Claire sent us some photos off her phone 

while we were talking on P-Day yesterday.

They made my heart a little sick. Homesick.

I am homesick for my girls.  I miss them around me, around my life, 

and hearing them walk, talk, and laugh.  

It also made me homesick to see our wonderful life just months ago.  

It's all gone.

Yes, today I'm having a hard day.

Last night in bed, I asked Christian:

"He hears us, right?  He knows the situation we're in, right?"

Christian reminded me of Joseph Smith and all the hardships 

he faced, all the prayers he offered, and all the sacrifices he made.

I am struggling to balance faith, reality, and responsibility.

I wonder and pray frequently about how on earth I will

 fulfill the important responsibilities in my life while maintaining

hope in the Lord's promises.

I find comfort and peace in the Lord's response to Joseph in D&C 82 :10:

 "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; 

but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

Going for the Gold

Today we watched powerhouse USA gymnasts; 

Simone Biles and Makayla Skinner in the Olympics.

Wow.  This kind of talent is beyond me, it's incredible!

When I was 11, I was so inspired by the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona.

Shannon Miller was my hero!

And, the basketball dream team was amazing!

During that hot Provo summer, my siblings and cousins held our own 

Clark family Olympics.  

We used our bikes, had running races, there was even rollerskating involved,

and it included our grandma's pool down the street where I won a

gold in the diving competition.

But gymnastics was my favorite.

I used markers and paper to make a USA logo and taped it to my ballet leotard.

Then we used the tree branch over the trampoline to make up amazing

gymnastic bar routines. I really thought I was good.

We did all sorts of flips and tricks and invited parents to come to watch.

We made medals out of fabric and ribbon, 

(which I still have to this day somewhere in my special things).

So this evening watching Lottie outside in the backyard dancing and doing tricks

made me so happy and brought back so many good memories.

She even got the boys to join in!

Then Christian tried to do a cartwheel on the stone wall and fell off.

We all gave him a 10!

Long time coming.

 Today we drove to Durham where Ollie got his license!

Since Covid, the DMV's have been incredibly busy,

and the only available DMV license appointments

 within 2 hours of us in the next 3 months was in Durham.

So we drive almost an hour away to get this beloved document!

Of course, we waited in a LONG line just to check in, and then

waited sat in chairs for a LONG time until our number was called

 at which point we showed the documents to a DMV worker

who informed me that I didn't have proof of insurance.

Of course, I forgot to add Ollie to our plan.

She told me I had 15 minutes to call our provider

 and get him added, otherwise, we'd have to call and

 reschedule this appointment which could potentially be another

THREE MONTHS! I called fast and just by the

 the skin of my teeth got him added and with proof, too!

But, this little glitch put us at the back of the line and so

 we waited again for another LONG

time before our number finally got called and we got to the back 

where Oliver successfully passed!!

And it only took three and a half hours!

Back at home (where we're temporarily staying),

 Ollie played his guitar while Gigs fiddled with his drone stuff

and Lottie helped me shuck corn for dinner.

Prepared for this time.

 Tonight we got an unexpected call from Claire

while we were in the car coming home from a church meeting.

For the last two weeks, Claire hasn't been able to connect with Christian

since he's been at work when she calls, so Claire's mission president,

allowed her to call Christian tonight 

and will allow her to continue to call him each Sunday evening

 so they can connect each week.

We pulled over to talk to her in a gas station parking lot.

It was a wonderful 2-hour conversation, and before we hung up, 

I asked her to think of and write down the events and experiences

 in her life that has prepared her to serve the Lord on a mission. 

Then when she's feeling down about herself or the work she's doing, 

or when she's discouraged by the language, she can reflect on those

 moments and feel a confirmation that she's where she should be

 because she's been prepared her whole life!

This morning we got an email from her with a lengthy list detailing the

 beautiful experiences she's had that have shaped her life and decisions.

 (Some when she was very, very young, too!) Some of her stories

 she shared were times when I

 have felt like I had failed as a mother but to her, 

they've been some of her greatest growing experiences and strengths.

She mentioned our accident, moving to the ranch in New Mexico, working with,

serving and learning from the sister missionaries

 while living here in North Carolina,

traveling to Samoa with her HEFY group, being the oldest in our family,

among a few other things.

I was overwhelmed with love and emotion.❤

I love and miss her, but man! I'm so incredibly proud of her!

Goodbye Wild West!.

 Today we left the desert and heat bound for green and humidity!  
I am so excited to see Christian; I can hardly stand it!  

Saying goodbye to Lindsay was a killer, and we're already

 talking about the next time we will be together, hopefully at the end of this year.

Jane drove all of us to the airport, where we gave a tearful goodbye and watched

her drive the car away.

My mama's heart sank.

I lost both my girls within a matter of weeks from each other.

Of course, I'm happy for them.

 I am happy they're where they are and doing what they

are doing, but I miss them so much.

I miss our little gang.

We had a layover in Las Vegas for 12 hours!  

Yes, you heard me, TWELVE HOURS!

It was a doozy.  

We ate, took a few naps, did some yoga, and all while

 The Killers sang over the airport radio on repeat. (They hail from Vegas).

Around hour eleven, I started to feel anxious.

It's no surprise that I hate flying, and Lottie could sense it because

she started to feel sick. All of my fears and worries

about flying seemed to consume my feelings and

I knew Lottie could tell I was a ball of nerves.

I'm pretty sure I suffer from PTSD.

Flying and airplanes bring back a lot of unwelcomed and scary

 feelings for me, and it just seems to be getting worse.

Lottie told me she felt like she would throw up, so we ran to

the bathroom, and I waited outside the stall with tears in my eyes.

I felt like I was going to break down.

I prayed slightly in my heart, asking the Lord to please

bless me and send me some comfort. 

Lottie walked out of the stall and shook her head. She didn't need to throw up

after all. We walked back to our gate as more people gathered around to board.

I sat down, and right there, sitting right in front of me was a pilot.

I felt prompted to talk to him. Maybe he would show me the comfort

I had prayed for in the women's bathroom. 

I didn't even know what I was going to say, and he looked happy sitting

there alone, peacefully enjoying his silence.

But I felt the nudge again to talk to him and that he would bring the peace

and comfort I had just prayed for.

So, I walked up to him and said something stupid like,

"Do you know anyone who is scared of flying these days?"

It was a dumb question, but I didn't know what else to say.

He looked up at me and smiled.

"No, not really."

Then I said, "well, I am."

Then I sat there and waited. I didn't know what would happen

or what I even expected him to say.

Then he said, "Oh, these airplanes are so safe and easy to fly.

You shouldn't be worried one bit. You should go on, sit

down, and take a nap!"  He continued,

"I wish I had something comforting to say to you, only that

you shouldn't worry."

Then he explained he was a retired Air Force pilot and that that kind of flying

was scary, but this type of flying was a piece of cake.

We must have talked for 10 minutes before Oliver told me that our

 departure gate had changed, and we needed to leave.

Before we left, I thanked him and told him that earlier

 I had prayed to God to help me because I had seriously considered ditching

the flight altogether and instead curl up in a ball in the 

corner of the airport and then probably never leave.

He probably thought I was crazy, but it was important to me 

 that I acknowledge God's love and miracles.

These types of occurrences happen to us more than we know.

Then I walked onto the plane with confidence, peace,

 and the longing to be reunited with Christian again.

It was amazing that the gate was changed; had it not, I wouldn't have

met the friendly pilot and felt the comfort I had prayed for. 

 God is aware. 

When I was seated and comfortable, 

I called Christian and told him I was on my way home

and would see him in six hours in the early North Carolina light.

Then on the plane, all five of us slept.

The Nemesis Club

 Today was our last day in Arizona.  

It has been a very wonderful and a very long trip out here in the west!

We've had the best time staying with and hanging out with our dear friends, 

the Joneses, and getting to seeing family in Utah.  

What a summer it's been so far!

To celebrate our last day together, the Jonesons took a trip to Phoenix 

and had a blast pretending to be smart and solve clues, unlock mysteries,

save the world and all that jazz at The Nemisis Club.

I'm not good at that nerd stuff, but the Nies loved it!

After saving the world and with 30 seconds left, we indulged

in some delicious gourmet milkshakes next door at Soda Jerk.

Then I died.

I died of exhaustion, gastro issues, and the emotions of having to

say goodbye to my Jane (who is staying in Arizona for another month),

and to the Jones family who has been THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD.

Top Gun Package

 Today I felt pretty sick. My head hurt, I was stuffed up, and I lost my voice. 

 I stayed confined in the Jones's basement and only came upstairs 

when I needed to thaw out my bones from being inside with the A/C blowing on me.

Oliver bought himself an electric guitar and amp and has been learning songs

by Weezer, 311, and The Weekend.  

It's been....well, it's been noisy.

But I'd rather him be fiddling around on the guitar

 then on his phone, so I can take it.

And he is catching on faster than I thought and can pick up tunes 

just by listening to songs.  I'm pretty impressed.

I'm trying to get him to learn to play the opening part of the Top Gun Anthem.

That would amazing and would definitely give me some inspiration to get better.

In the late afternoon, I made myself get up and go to the USPS to

finally send off our first package to Claire in Brazil! 

It was quite the ordeal, but thanks to George at the USPS, it got off

without a hitch!  It cost us an arm and a leg, but it's off!

Fortune

 Today I found a random fortune cookie lying around Lindsay's kitchen.

I don't love fortune cookies, but I guess I was hungry or something because

I opened it up and nibbled on it.

But the best part was the fortune inside:

"You will move to a wonderful new home within the year."

Yes!  How did it know?  This is exactly what our family needs!! 

Interestingly, I had just read in The Book Of Mormon one of the 

shortest, if not the shortest scripture in the book;

 "And my father dwelt in a tent" (1 Nephi 2:15) 

referring to Nephi's father Lehi.

Dwelling in tents is referred to several times in the scriptures and 

is oftentimes accompanied by some pretty epic and important revelations.

And even though I try my very hardest to control what happens to our family,

especially when it comes to where we live and the spiritual experiences 

I can create in the homes that we live in,

I firmly believe that they will come to us when we are open and ready for them,

wherever and whatever that looks like- even in less than ideal situations.

(Like in a friend's basement, for example).

I don't know if Lehi and Nephi would have learned and received spiritual 

instruction if they had been in their comfortable home in Jerusalem.

Maybe they would have, and maybe not.

But instead, they learned them living in tents in the desert.

I think the point is, whether we're in tents (or basements), we can have

spiritual experiences and deep learning moments together if we

are being obedient, keeping our promises to the Lord, praying, and pondering.

In our quest for a home for our family and when our efforts turn up

empty and discouraging, I try and remember that just maybe

the Lord is trying to teach me (our family) something while we are

homeless and dwelling in "a tent"

Maybe the Lord is teaching me something while we are homeless

that I wouldn't have learned any other way.

Whatever the reason, I believe Nephi added that six-word scripture reference 

 for a purpose, and that he thought it was worth it to add it in the story.

And those sacred words are keeping me afloat right now.

That, and the fortune cookie.