Goodbye, June

 

Goodbye, June!

Poem by Vinaya Joseph

June

♡

June, a month of golden days,

Where summer's warmth begins to blaze.

With skies of blue and sun-kissed air,

June whispers secrets everywhere.

In fields of green and blooming flowers,

June paints the world with vibrant powers.

Each petal dances in the breeze,

A celebration of life's ease.

With every dawn, a promise anew,

In June's embrace, dreams come true.

A time for adventure, for love, for play,

As June guides us along our way.

In June's light, memories are made,

In laughter shared and joys displayed.

A tapestry of moments, rich and bright,

In June's embrace, we find delight.

So let us cherish June's sweet song,

And let its melodies carry us along.

For in its midst, we find the key,

To unlock the door to destiny.

It Says It All

 My fridge says it all:

-A mission assignment

-A wedding announcement 

-A baby announcement

Chicken Pedicures

 

I sat on the porch with Gigs, who woke up at 11:00 this morning.

He cuddled the chickens, and he told me his plan to paint their nails

for the wedding.  I'm going to miss this dude when he leaves on his mission

in August.  Our house certainly won't be the same without him.

He makes everything fun and interesting.

I Turned 44

Today I turn 44.

 I woke up and my wonderful kids decorated the house

and left me a little surprise on the kitchen table.

Awwww.   

They are seriously the best, and have risen to carry and support

me and all my baby blues.

They take me out for car rides when I feel like I'm going to die at home,

make me drinks, and Jane has completely taken over cooking and feeding

the family.  That has been such a blessing!

I didn't feel like celebrating my 44th birthday.

I don't feel like doing anything.

And I don't.

I'm so nauseated ALL DAY, and my medication doesn't help.

It just makes my body tense.  I feel like I have ADHD.

I'm miserable.

Gigs took me out tonight to get a salad.

He's so good to me.  He also drove me to the gas station where

he got me a slushy drink, which I only had about two sips of.

It's such a different experience being pregnant with adult children

who literally wait on me and my every need.

What a beautiful blessing!

Then Christian left for YW camp for the last night,

and Jane, Gigs, and Ollie took me to get an ice cream cake.

I didn't even eat it.

Instead, I went home and went to bed.

Did I mention I am miserable?

In Awe

 This afternoon, I got my sick body out of bed, and Christian and I 

dropped my car off because the AC quit.  

Not the best time of year to have the AC die.

So, we got a rental car, and the inside smells are enough to kill me.

Kind of like cigarette smoke and a really bad air freshener.

Pregnancy is no joke.

I feel so dramatic and such a bummer because I don't mean

to be, but I can't not comment on the smells, and 

how bad I feel.  

Pregnancy is also kind of lonely because 

 I'm the only one who feels

this way, and everyone else just thinks I'm crazy.

Christian came down from camp so he could take me to our first OBGYN

appointment. 

I peed in a cup, gave my new doctor my exhausting and complete

medical history.  There is A LOT to unpack there!

Next month, we are meeting with a full medical team who will be there

with me as I carry and deliver this little surprise baby.

I do have a few medical conditions that need to be watched, including

my skin stretching.  I got hooked up with some nausea pills, too.

Bless!

We left with a due date and photos of this little gummy bear!

Christian and I got in the car and looked at each other in awe.

We're just in awe.

Lottie At Young Women Camp

Lottie at Young Women Camp means she's hiking mountains, 
collecting and trading pins and having conversations with other girls, 

 making things, studying scriptures, reflecting, NOT being on her phone, 

 building fires, and learning to get along with other girls who are different from her.  

And spending time in nature with her dad.

I love it!

This is what Lottie was doing EIGHT years ago with her dad:

Swimming at Fox Hill.  

My, my, what adventures we've had!

YW Camp 2025

 

This morning, I sent Lottie and Branch President, Christian, 

to Young Women's camp until Saturday.  
This is Lottie's second year at camp.  

She was hesitant to go and will have FOMO since

 Claire is coming and we are getting things ready for her wedding. 

 But I am so excited to have Lod to hang out with other young women, 

and of course, to leave her phone at home.  

Plus, Christian will be there for most of camp, so if she gets homesick,

(and she does get homesick!), he'll be there.

Last year, when Christian and Lottie went to camp, two pregnant cows

died of heat exhaustion.  I hope NOT to repeat that!

YW camp is not what it used to be. 

For one thing, the girls can wear shorts now, and bring swimming suits,

 unlike the very strict rules we had when I was going.

I hate to say it, but camp is one of those

things that makes me hope baby Nielson 6 is a boy.

Bless ALL the leaders involved!

Bye, Lod!

Have fun!

A Piece Of Gum

Over the weekend, a good storm came through and knocked down some 

of the lights that the boys had hung in the trees.

This afternoon, they were back outside, re-stringing the lights, 

with Christian at the wheel of the tractor.

I got outside for a little walk and a change of scenery. 

"Morning sickness," which to me means "all day sickness," has beaten me down, 

and I spend most of my days lying in bed with a piece of gum under my nose.

It's horrible. 

I haven't been able to work or even go to the studio for a few days

 because there is a smell at the studio- I can't put my finger on it,

but it makes me so sick.  It's so sad.

I am still wrestling with the fact that

I am pregnant, and this timing is the absolute worst.

Claire and Nate are flying in next week for their wedding. 

We still have so much to do, and I need to be around to do it, not sick in bed.

The good news: I haven't thrown up yet, which is different from my previous

pregnancies, where I threw up the second I got pregnant.

So there's that.

Claire + Nate Wedding Announcement

 This is me attempting to take a photo of Claire + Nate's 

wedding announcements, and it wasn't great. 

I feel that my inadequate attempt to photograph this

diminishes and cheapens the beauty of the actual announcement.

An Adjustment

 

Tonight, we gathered as a family to discuss all things family.

We talked about the newest addition to our Nielson seven.

We talked about my needs and how everyone is going to have to step it up,

especially during the super sick first-trimester days.

Everyone is on board!

We talked about the list of to-dos for Claire's wedding.

We still have quite a bit to do in preparation, especially for the

dinner we are hosting at our house the day before.

We talked about Jane returning to BYU Provo in August and 

Ollie at BYU Idaho in September, and what they both will need.

We talked about Gigs leaving for the MTC in Provo in August,

and Lottie's plan to go back to school in August.

We also talked about the studio and the all-hands-on approach we 

need from everyone to keep it running smoothly, especially

since I'm having to slow wayyy down.

I have the best employees and feel so grateful for them!

We're doing this all together.

I may be carrying this baby, but everyone has a part

to play in this, and tonight I wept thinking about all the strength

my children give me.

We did some calculations:

Claire will be 24 years older than the baby.

Jane will be 23 years older than the baby.

Oliver will be 21 years older than the baby.

Gigs will be 20 years older than the baby.

Lottie will be almost 14 years older than the baby.

And I will be 44 years old and Christian, 47 years older than the baby.

This is going to be an adjustment!

It's Confirmed

 Christian and I met with Dr. Mangum today in the ER, and what

I knew it was confirmed.

I AM PREGNANT.

I saw a tiny little baby with my own eyes floating around

with a strong heartbeat.

HOLY COW.

There are sooooo many questions swirling around my brain.

How?  When?  Can I do it?  Can my body do it?

I'm almost 44!  I wasn't planning on this!

I don't have any baby things.

Wait, are you sure? Like, sure sure?

"Faith in Jesus Christ is the greatest 

power available to us in this life. 

All things are possible 

to them that believe."

I'm about 8 weeks along.

Now I know why I've been so sick.

It makes sense.

Moving forward, I need lots and lots of faith.

It's got to come from somewhere deep inside me.

Right now, I don't have it, but I'll find it.

I've done hard things before.

I can do this.

We met the Nies for lunch and shared the unbelievable news.

EVERYONE was absolutely shocked and speechless.

In fact, no one believed me at first until I started crying

in both excitement, joy, fear, and exhaustion.

Newest Addition

 

Today, I made and painted our newest silhouette addition, Nate!

He's going up on the wall with the rest of the clan!

Now, I need to add it to my blog banner!

No Backup Plan

 This afternoon, I got a text from one of Gigs' friends who shared a photo

 with me of Gigs asleep in the back of his car.  

Gigs has been in Florida with some friends for his graduation trip. 

 I wasn't involved in any of the plans, so I didn't know where 

he was going to be staying (a sketchy Airbnb), eating 

(Chipotle every day), and doing (fishing & snorkeling).

He'd call me each night to say he was safe, but that's all he let me have.  

I trust Gigs.

I trust he'll be home in one piece, too.

Meanwhile, when Ollie got home from work, 

he and Christian put up the lights in the driveway in 

preparation for Claire's wedding.  

Praying it won't rain for the big day!!!!!!!!

We don't really have a backup plan!

A Gathering Place

 This afternoon, after our morning classes and the rush, 

the construction team came in to work on a few items from the punch list. 

They were respectful enough to take their dirty boots off at the door. 

The studio is beautiful, with large windows and a roomy 

lobby space for clients to gather and shop.  It's really a dream come true.

I took a little nap in the lobby and put away several candles in our retail space.

The scents are making me queasy.

Something is off with me.

Then I found out that I was featured in the 

fitness and wellness online magazine, Athletech,

and was then re-posted by B3 founder, Sadie Lincoln.

It was super cool, and such an honor!

I love this traction!

I love seeing our team's hard work paying off!

So grateful for all the wonderful people involved to make 

Barre3 Chatham Park a gathering place for EVERYONE!

Fathers Day 2025, Whoa!

 Happy Father's Day to my main man, Christian!

I woke up nauseous and tried to push the pregnancy tests out of my mind, 

even though I think it's real.  We shared dinner with the Snarrs, 

who were in DC over the weekend, and brought down 

Cafe Rio for our special Father's Day dinner.  

Last year I hosted a fun dinner, this year I am way too sick 

to even think about doing that.

We held baby Claire, and inside, I was dying because 

this could be my reality, and no one knows.  

Especially after hearing Lottie and Gigs say;

"Oh, Mom, just have one more, please!" 

And

"She's so little, I don't even know how to hold her!"

And all of these comments were driving me crazy. 

I couldn't even concentrate on Christian as being the most wonderful father, 

because all I could think about was how he would be another father

to another one of our children after being done for nearly 14 years.

 I pictured him holding a baby and changing diapers.

I pictured him holding our baby like a football, and teaching him/her

how to ride a bike.  All the things flashed in my mind.

Then I remembered how SICK, how horribly, awfully SICK

 I get with my pregnancies.

I can't imagine doing it again.

Not now, not with the studio just opening, Claire getting married,

and Gigs going on his mission.

I'm worried about work tomorrow.

Can I get out of bed and teach when I feel like dying?

Whoa boy, what is going on?

The Day I Knew

 

(Can you spot the pregnancy test?)

For the past few days, I have been waking up feeling nauseous.  Really nauseous!  

I've only felt this way when I'm pregnant, so I was a little

sus, when I actually had the thought to take a pregnancy test.

But it would all make sense; why I'm so sick, especially in the morning, why

I hate going to the studio because it smells bad (even though it doesn't),

and why am I so exhausted and irritable?  

I attended a funeral this morning for a member of our congregation, and while I sat

there, I felt like I was going to throw up.  I left early and took

myself to a Walgreens where I bought two pregnancy tests, came home,

and peed on the stick.

Almost immediately, two lines appeared.

No.

No. 

No.

It can't be.  I thought my body was going in a completely different direction.

I thought that with missed/unreliable periods beginning earlier this year, 

I was entering my premenopausal phase.  I'm 43.  It kind of would make sense.

But still, after taking BOTH tests, I felt perhaps 

I was looking at false-positive tests.

I've heard about those happening with premenopausal women, yes, sometimes this

happens. I mean, that sounded a little more believable than me getting

pregnant, besides, I couldn't recall when Christian and I were not careful.

For the last 25 years, we have had babies when we planned them, and

haven't had any issues with that before.

Excuse the bluntness, but this baby would have 

literally slid in without us even noticing.

I called Christian, who was still at the funeral, in panic tears, 

He answered the phone,

"Hey, I'm just cleaning up, can I-"  I interrupted him,

"I think I'm pregnant."

Silence.

Then he said, "Whoa, wait, you were on speaker phone, what did you say?"

"I was on SPEAKER PHONE?  DID ANYONE HEAR?"

"No, I was just sweeping the floor and using my phone watch to talk, I

don't think anyone heard, but what did you even say...?"

Then I told him about my leaving the funeral early and going to Walgreens to 

get a pregnancy test.

He told me not to jump to conclusions.

"It's probably just your hormones acting funny because you're body

is changing, I'm coming to get you."

Minutes later, I started walking to the gate when his truck came barreling

through.  He stopped, I jumped in, and we drove to Walmart, where we bought

another pregnancy test.  This time, a three-pack.

I used Walmart's bathroom (the first and only time I've done that).

Sure enough, two lines appeared quickly on the stick.

We looked at each other, and I cried. He smiled and hugged me.

Then I called our ER Dr friend and asked him for his very 

secret medical opinion, he said to come into the hospital in a few days 

while he's on call, he'd perform an ultrasound to assess the situation.

It could be an ovarian issue.

He said it's happened before.

I'm not 100% positive about being pregnant.

However, my body has ever misled me about this before.

I've only felt pregnant when I was actually pregnant.

So, I think I might be pregnant.

And my daughter is getting married in less than a month.

Tasting

This morning, I taught two back-to-back classes, then went to my office

and fell asleep on the floor.  I've been so sick, exhausted to my core.

Christian woke me up because we had an appointment in Durham to 

We visited a bakery to sample cakes for Claire's wedding.

In our taste test kit, we tried the following:

Chocolate Genoise Cake with Chocolate Hazelnut Mousseline

Chocolate Genoise Cake with White Buttercream

Vanilla Genoise Cake with Chocolate Hazelnut Mousseline

Vanilla Genoise Cake with White Buttercream

We brought the cakes home, and everyone sampled them and gave 

their opinion. Vanilla Genoise with Hazelnut for layer 1

Chocolate Genoise with white Buttercream for layer 2

and vanilla Genoise Cake with Hazelnut Mousseline layer 3.

It feels strange to do this without the bride present, 

and I’m grateful she trusts our taste.

Who's the cutest kitty? Kitty is!

On Her Way

 This evening, Lottie, Jane, and I left the studio with the most gorgeous 

cotton-candy pink sky ever.

I've been feeling a little yucky, and think I've just been overdoing it

with work stuff.  Still haven't caught up on my sleep since opening a week ago.

I love that I have a job where my family is all involved.

I love that Jane teaches classes and Lottie's takes classes.

One day, she'll be an instructor, I bet.  She's well on her way.

Highlights in June

 Highlights today:

1. My friend, Anna, sent me a preview of the gorgeous pot she is making
 for Claire's wedding dinner. It's the coolest pot 

I've ever seen, and Claire is going to love it!

I'm going to put it near her wedding cake with gorgeous flowers.

2. Kitty.  Need I say more?

3. We're checking off the to-do list for Claire's wedding prep.  

We're getting closer!

4. Finally, art and lighting went up in the play lounge at the studio.  

It's pretty cute.