I lay in bed last night thinking.
Rats! Here it goes again I thought, the nightly pain deal. So I tried thinking of something else. I thought about last Saturday when I joined my Mom and Dad for a lunch date. After lunch, Dad and I dropped my Mother off a the local nail salon for her pedicure.
Dad took me and his beloved pup 'Nan' with him to his favorite spot near the lake.
The day was winding down and so the sun sat low behind the golden marsh plants. I was in a state of well-being and happiness. Courtney had taken my girls ice skating for the day and Mr Nielson had the boys. Dad and I talked and walked and walked.
Advice was offered, and tears were shed but best of all I felt the spirit so strongly in my heart. My mind fluttered away for a moment and I was suddenly standing in a lush and green field. It was the pick-yourself strawberry fields in Maryland. I was pregnant with Ollie and the two girls and I was living with Mr. Nelson's brother Peter, his wife Darin and their darlings while we made the transition back east from Utah.
Darin brought me to the farm on a over-cast and balmy summer morning. Claire picked the fattest perfectly-formed berries plopping them in our bucket while Jane devoured them just as fast as Claire could pick.
Red juice stained her white tee-shirt. She was so happy, so pleased in that moment.
That's my Jane.
I remembered those Maryland nights. First sign of night came with the spontaneous twinkle here and there.
God's magic wand I say.
Weekends brought Mr. Nielson from a lonely work week alone in New Jersey. I could barely keep my hands off him. Speaking of spontaneous, one night we said we were going to a "movie" but really we "parked" in a beautiful field -fireflies aglow (do you blame me? We lived in one room with our kids and his brother upstairs.... Oh stop, I know you know what I mean) Those happy days brought happy warm thoughts. Those are thoughts the spirit helps me to recollect as another ever reminder that Christian and I were preserved for a purpose and they will (and are) still going to happen.
Thank you for your e-mails, I adore them. Every single one.