Nie York City!

Twenty New York Moments 

from our trip back east from November 22-27, 2009:

 20. Nicholas fell down the steps in JFK airport and got a nice-sized goose egg. 

 19.  Claire put her hand on the Hostess's table at

 dinner and it broke and then somehow fell on top of her, 

which then broke the computer, then broke 

the delicate amaryllis & vase.

It broke our hearts and we didn't eat dinner that night in the restaurant.

Instead, we nursed a sad Toad back to health and had room service.

(But the hotel sent to our room cookies and milk for Claire

with a note that said: "Get well soon, Claire!").  (In the Green Room for The Today Show) 

 18. Meeting Matt Laurer and Meredith Vieira on The Today Show!

We chatted about kids and how he wakes up at 4:30

 to arrive at the set every morning. 

 I asked Matt since he has to get up so early each day what time he goes to bed.

 (Why do I care about these things? I don't know).  

He says he goes to bed at 8:30, the same time as his children.

He also told me he hated eating rubber chicken.

I told him I don't even eat chicken at all.

I don't even know why we were talking about chicken

since our interview was like at 6:30 in the morning.

17. Meredith Vieira hooked us up with Macy’s Day parade tickets

 because she said to me,

"If I can’t get them, then who can?!” 

She was SO very nice and soooo super cute with Ollie.

16.  I got my make-up done right next to Al Roker.

15. Going to the White Christmas musical on Broadway with 

the girls; Claire, Jane, Mom, Lucy, and Courtney.

We also got to visit backstage, meet the players, 

and go behind the scenes to see all the cool 

tricks, wigs, costumes, and props. Thanks, Mari!

 

14. Nicholas refused to wear his shoes or sweater for 

 The Today Show interview.

 Then he made tooting noises and climbed under the couch 

during my chat with Matt. 

 It was hilarious and very frustrating at the same time. 

 (OK, I admit it, I didn’t want him to wear the

 helicopter shirt on national television! Can you blame me?)

13. Getting the sweetest kiss from Ann Curry. 

 She had a gorgeous green dress on that day and is absolutely soft and gracious.

 12. Dressing up at night to visit the city.

 11. Going to Tavern on the Green in Central Park. 

The food was over-priced and kind of gross.  But it's iconic.

 10. Ollie talking me into buying a three-pack ironman set

 in the FAO Schwartz toy store.

It's been the best purchase I've ever made. 

They haven't left his hands once.  Not even to sleep.

 9.  The kids go to sleep at midnight every night,

(are we're on the East Coast!).

Come to think of it, this isn't a highlight, really.

8. Alicia Keys meeting my girls…and the girls don’t care.

They will someday though.

 

 7. After getting a high fever and feeling very sick on Thanksgiving Eve,

Christian and I took a taxi to the New York Presbyterian hospital ER.

I have a very large and very sore open wound on my leg that is very infected.

The burn unit admitted me and we stayed the night and all day on Thanksgiving.

This, as you know, wasn't my first stay in the burn unit on Thanksgiving.

What a gigantic BUMMER!

6.  Mr. Nielson and I cuddled on my hospital bed that overlooked the East river

half laughing, but mostly crying over our misfortune.

That turn of events had us counting our blessings which then brought

us to prayers of Thanksgiving which is why we celebrate this holiday anyway.

So I guess it wasn't all that bad.

After some heavy heavy IV antibiotics, they dressed my wound and called 

 Dr. Caruso in the burn center in Phoenix. 

Sounds like I'll be back to surgery in January of next year.

That's just the news I want to hear!

I missed the Macy’s day parade that Meridith Vieira got us prime tickets for.

 But my kids and family all got to go, and that's what matters anyway!

Also, the hospital misplaced the new green flats 

that I got especially for the trip.  That was tragic.

I was discharged from the hospital in blue footies. 

5. I lay in bed recovering with a throw-up bowl

 next to dad who agreed to stay with me while everyone else

went to my cousin Ryan, and his wife, Kimberly’s 

apartment in Harlem for Thanksgiving dinner.

 Later, they told me that they took three wrong subway routes 

and made it to dinner an hour late. 

But Mr. Nielson said dinner was exquisite in every way! 

Dad ordered up pumpkin soup and crackers for our Thanksgiving dinner.

  

4. I'm pretty sure Nicholas successfully spilled twenty

 out of the twenty-two drinks he had on the trip. 

In restaurants, in the airport, on the airplane, and in his stroller.

Not to mention breaking four glasses. FOUR!

3. A very old man in one of the café’s we ate at 

got really mad at me for letting my boys eat so loudly.

What? 

 He told me that my kids were not normal and he

 had never heard kids eat so loudly before.

(We're not in Utah anymore, Toto).

But it doesn't stop there, oh no,

he also told the manager who did nothing because...seriously?

2. Central Park...what more can I say?     

(Betsy and Andrew in the park) 

 1. My Mom asked the flight attendant when we landed in NYC 

if she was “spreading the news".

The flight attendant didn’t laugh or think it was funny.

 (Like I did).

 I think Frank would have laughed.   

ALSO: My mom stood next to Hoda outside

singing along with Alicia Keys and after I said,

"Mom, what was it like budding up with Hoda?"

"With who?"

She had no idea.

Thanks Lexi and The Today Show!! 

This was such an amazing trip from start to finish!

What I am thankful for

Well, friends, it's Thanksgiving time. 

I have so much to be thankful for and being alive is top on the list.

We are headed to New York for our Thanksgiving.

We've been asked by The Today Show for a follow-up interview.

In the last interview, both Christian and I were dead in comas,

so this will be really special.

I still think it's amazing they even care about our story.

Smeeks!!

I'm in love with a store called Smeeks.

Sad news...I live in Utah and Smeeks is in Phoenix. 

But I visit Smeeks every single time I go visit, which 

seems like every month with all my check-ups.

Also, I've become friends with the Smeeks lovely owner, Georgeanne    Check out Georgeanne on the cover of Phoenix Magazine! 

Georgeanne sent me a photo of her and Scout (from 'To Kill a Mockingbird') 

I knew when I met Georgeanne we were bosom friends, now I know why!)

other Smeeks reviews here here and here  

Forgetting and Enjoying.

We just got back from Arizona last night.

This drive was really horrible.

My kids were pretty good, but my back hurt and,

 I had to wear the new splits I got for my hands.

 I can only bear them for about 15-30 minutes before I want to curl up in a ball and cry. 

Sometimes when I think about how much I still have ahead of me it's so overwhelming!

 More surgeries, more therapy, more tears, and more frustrations.

 But I get to have more time on this earth.

I get to still enjoy romance, children, good food,

family, seasons, holidays, and the weather.

It's one foot in front of the other, and

I can do this (even with hand splints on!).

 

Terror on Briar Avenue

Halloween 2009.

My first Halloween back!

I have to admit, it felt weird wrapping up Jane as a mummy

 since I literally was a mummy A YEAR AGO TODAY!

And, I'm using the left-over burn wrap from the hospital.  

 

Womanly Weekend

This picture of Claire and me 

was taken 8 years ago.
It was taken on a beautiful day in South Fork, Utah.

It was just as beautiful today when we said

goodbye to all the dudes in the family

as they embarked on the annual deer hunt.
They depart for three days to enjoy their masculine retreat, and

we gals hang out together, too.

Tonight, we met at Pages' house for dinner and a sleepover.

I love my family, I love where I live, and I love being a woman.
What joy I feel in all of those simplicities.
Tomorrow, Jane and I plan on picking apples from our burdened

tree to make pies and picking grapes off the vine for juice making.

Have a womanly weekend
from my house to yours.

Do you love being a woman, too? Read this.

How You Know It's Fall In Utah

This is how you know it's Fall in Utah.

Polaroid style:

Grapes off the backyard vine:

The color orange everywhere:

Pumpkins growing in the patch:


Cozy afternoons:

Double-O Nielson.

I am in Arizona. Oh, and yes, I am having fun.

 But the first thing we did when we got here was to visit home...

you know, home to the Lazona Estate.

 I just had to get it out of the way and ask Mr. Nielson to take me there. 

 He asked me a bazillion times if I was sure (he is so thoughtful).

 And I was sure. 

 As soon as we hit Main street, my heart pounded faster 

and faster, and my hands began sweating.

Then we turned into Lazona street, 

where a wave of emotions caught me off, guard,

and my eyes were stinging with tears.

  We pulled up to the Lazona Estate and stopped the car.

My pots are still there. 

My welcome mat is still there. 

My polka-dot curtains are still there. 

And for a moment, I was still there- in the kitchen window making dinner. 

I took a deep breath.

We drove on.  I couldn't take it anymore.

As we drove off,  Mr. Nielson and I turned our heads 

to see if we could see the Mulberry Bungalow nestled in the tree. 

Then Mr. Nielson became emotional. 

All his hard work and manly powers in creating that beautiful space 

only to lose it just months after. 

 I told Mr. Nielson it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach really hard. 

 Then I said I would not think about that moment for the rest of the trip. 

But that was going to be impossible, and we both knew it.

How do you forget such a beautiful memory?  Such an innocent time of life?

But we needed to head back to get dolled up for the Copa Ball, 

the fundraising gala for the Maricopa Health Foundation. 

The foundation has supported Mr. Nielson and me through thick and thin. 

Not only did we attend the evening, but we spoke. 

 It was a tribute to all those who helped us recover and an honor to speak.

 I publicly thanked the dear sweet doctors, amazing nurses, and therapists.

  Then there was dancing.

Before the event, while getting ready for the night,

 Mr. Nielson refused to have a clip-on bow tie for his tux.

 He wanted the real thing. So in purchasing his own tux (James bond style)

 he made sure he could tie the bow, too. So the night before, he found a 

  10-step YouTube bowtie video, which helped out. 

Now he is a genuine tux-wearer.

It's hot here. Sooo hot. 

I forgot.

The closet.

(this picture has nothing to do with my post, I just thought it was awesome.)

Today I woke up to rain.
The kind of rain that is loud and makes it hard to get out of bed.

But I did.

I got up and did the routine. 

 Breakfast, making lunches, trying really hard to do my 

girl's hair and prayers before school.

After the girls left, the boys were in the living room

 fighting over who got to be Indiana Jones. 

 Then Jimmy did a silent toot 

(while he was jumping up to the table to eat the left-over toast crust), 

and they laughed, which was the end of that fight/discussion.

I was in the laundry room folding clothes. My clothes. 

And for some reason, my mind wandered off to the day months ago when

Courtney took me to her guest room.

She showed me where some of my clothes had been kept 

since the accident and the big move to Utah.
She left me alone and went to the closet touching all the clothes. 

 It was like I was touching a dead woman's dresses. 

 It was so strange. I felt dead, yet I was alive-just different.
I even went so far as to smell them.
It smelled like me. 

 Me in Arizona. 

Me in Arizona, going to church, going on dates, smiling, 

laughing, creating, and playing with my children.
I cried and sat down on Courtney's guest bed.
A wave of emotion took me for a few minutes.
I missed me again. I mourned for that woman!
I left that room, taking nothing home. It was not time.

After I loaded the laundry in my washer, 

I felt that familiar sadness. But then it was followed by a 

beautiful, spiritual confirmation that this is my new life.

 It is good. It is oh, so good!!
And then I felt I should go down the street to Courtney's house and

to that closet and bring home me.

Because it is still me.
And those clothes will still fit.

This day in September

This was Claire on September 17th, 2005

in East Brunswick, New Jersey.

Look at her cheeks, her eyelashes, 

her button nose, and tiny lips!

My perfect life.

Nicholas burned his finger today. It was heart-breaking. 

 Of course, I know of his pain and felt helpless. 

His tears carried on for hours and his only solace was a baggie of ice.

 I carried the boys to bed and lay with them as I always do. 

My mind often wanders as I lay and wait for my boys to fall asleep. 

Tonight in my thoughts I walked down my hallway in my Mesa home.

 I was carrying laundry and toys in a basket. 

 I walked past the boy's room and picked up a few toys on the carpet. 

 Nicholas sat in front of his large window playing his mini-piano 

while Ollie made train tracks from a large basket.

 I walked further down past my yellow office/guest room. My computer was open

 and a few stickie notes was still attached to the screen. 

 The bed was made perfectly and the carpet vacuumed. 

 Next was the girls room. The beds were not made. 

 I lay down the basket and made their beds. Again perfect.

Then I put away toys and clothes, opened the blinds, turned around, and smiled. Perfect. 

 Then I passed the bathroom. The towels folded nicely and everything sparkled clean.

It's old and dated, but at least it's clean.

Next, I entered my room. 

 My beautiful white bedspread lay over our 4-post bed.  

In my closet, all my clothes were in perfect order with Christian's work

clothes in the hamper.  

I noticed a note places on my dresser, "good morning darling"

it read.  It was from Mr. Nielson before he left for work.

I never made it to the other rooms because Nicholas's ice pack fell down 

and he started shaking his hand wildly in the air.

 I fixed the ice and lay back down next to him with tears dripping down my face

 My heart hurt and I was lonely for my once-perfect life. 

 I missed my old home, neighbors, friends, and my face. 

 Finally, I slipped out of bed leaving the boys snoring peacefully, and walked up to my room. 

As I walked up the stairs I noticed toys spread all over the floor with garbage, 

and popsicle sticks on the ground. 

Just a few short months ago this would have not been acceptable.

But now things have changed and I don't have the energy I did.

My life is not perfect but I am alive.

 And sure, I miss the almost perfect life I once had. 

But right now, this is better than perfect, too.

I Can Smell Fall

I can feel fall embracing the city. I can smell it in the air.

The nights grow crisper, 

while the afternoons cling to the warmth of summer. 

It's a change I eagerly anticipate each year, 

a reminder of nature’s beautiful cycles.

 Last year was different.

I was in a coma.

I often wonder if I enjoyed autumn in my special "place" while in a coma.

 I know the Lord knew I loved it so much, so maybe he let me have it.

 I like to think he did.

Yesterday, I visited the grocery store, and to my surprise, 

Halloween decorations were prominently displayed at the front. 

Since this store is part of the neighborhood market, 

it offers a variety of unique and interesting items.

Oh boy, I really went overboard! 

While I was picking out orange and black latte bowls at the end display table,

 I kept telling myself that I was just making up for the 

Halloween decorations I missed last year. 

And now, I am ready for Halloween. Already.

I came home from the store and saw 

 Jane outside in the garden eating off the 

fruit of the late summer goodness.

Best time of year, for sure!

Moments.

There are moments in my 

life when I feel like

my spirit is tapping my heart to 

remind me just why I still mortally exist.

Today I had more of those 'tapping' moments.

It was in the deep brown eyes of Nicholas laughing and 

tackling Jimmy over and over and over again.

It was in Claire's desire to help me with anything. 

Today it was groceries. She carried them in while I rested on the couch. 

Then she climbed on the couch near me and read 'Ivy and Bean.' 

And her cute little hairy legs dangled below.

It was Oliver dressed up as Indiana Jones with his white church 

shirt buttoned halfway down, his rope coiled up in his belt loop,

 and his carrier bag over his shoulder (containing Mr. Nielson's pocket knife 

that he got when he was 8. It also had a mini-sized 

hymnal with his own maps and drawings inside).

It was Mr. Nielson, who I watched outside my window 

early this morning, riding his bike to school with the girls. 

Their faces beamed like they were the luckiest girls ever.
And they are. (Me too!).

And...

It was when Jane climbed on my lap and mugged on me. 

Then she asked for pinealoupe. Then I asked her if she 

meant cantaloupe or pineapple. And she squealed at 

herself until tears ran down her eyes.

She meant cantaloupe.


PS...I should say that Nicholas took this photo.

Critical Condition

(The family Sunday fireside on my accident anniversary last week.)

Today I woke up. That was an accomplishment. 

But folks, that's not all! I woke up at 7:00 so I could 

get my girlie's lunches made, laundry is done, and breakfast started.

Then I also wrote a list of goals to complete.

Organize tools, garage, paint the front door, paint cupboards, 

hang up and frame paintings, weed/lawn. That list was just for Mr. Nielson alone.

Here were my goals: organize cupboards

That looks a little off balance. I can barely do much these days.

Writing lists were just like the old times, and I love that I'm getting excited about accomplishing something. It's been a long time since I've felt that way.

That's been really good therapy for me. 

Oh man, the old times...those were great, and some of it I want to continue, but lots of it I am not looking back. Just looking forward and it feels so good. 

 Thank you all for coming to my Dad's weenie roast. Good times had there!

In the afternoon, Mr. Nielson with me to the burn unit, and to our very wonderful surprise,

 Doctor Peck who was on my life-saving team in AZ was there visiting!!!

 It was such a delightful meeting and I was giddy with joy. 

 Mr. Nielson and I shed tears of gratitude for his handy work in our preservation on this planet. 

I had never officially "met" him since I was in a coma, so it was very special. 

 Tonight I overheard the news on TV at my parents' house, and the anchor was talking 

about a horrible accident in Salt Lake. 

 Then she ended with  "...and now she is in critical condition in the hospital"

followed quickly with ".....Have you heard about Dennis the special monkey who gets carried around on a leash?...bla bla blablaaa bla......" 

 And that was that. 

And I thought, about that poor woman who is in critical condition.

I thought about her "team" of doctors and nurses who are trying to save her life...her LIFE! 

 She has a family who is in critical condition, too!  They are emotionally strained and really heartbroken.  I thought about her husband and children.

Then in almost the same breath, we hear about Dennis the special monkey?!

 It was painful!  when a loved one is slipping away nothing else in the world matters. 

 Nothing. You don't watch TV, listen to music. Movies are too much and even reading is hard. 

I wish I could tell this sweet family in critical condition to hang in there.

They are in for months and months of recovery, hospital visits, desperate prayers, and heartache, 

but to never forget who will always remain in critical condition with them:

 The Savior.

 He will be there until everything is stable and then forever after. 

When the world forgets He will remain.

I am sure Dennis is a really special monkey,

 but sometimes some situations feel too sacred, too emotional,

and even too special to just announce.

Those are my thoughts tonight. 

Here is the special news report on our accident.