This afternoon I walked the fence line of Stillstead to take time to think,
pray and ponder. August is a busy and emotional month.
It's the month the Nies return to school, and we celebrate
a new family theme and our Back to School Feast.
It's also the month of our family's re-birthday on August 16th
and we remember the accident and celebrate life.
August is long and hot.
But today, it was windy and cool as I walked in the tall grass.
I don't know what happened, but a switch turned on today,
and it feels different.
It's still hot and clammy, but I sense change is coming.
August is the last link to our slow lazy summer days,
and spontaneous beach trips.
August has felt like Summer New Year for me.
I've been thinking about my life, my goals, and what I love to do.
I want to write a children's book,
I want to be a Barre3 instructor,
I love spending the day outside harvesting my garden flowers,
attending to the chickens and working
side-by-side with Christian and the cattle.
And lots of days, I just want to paint upstairs in the loft.
But my biggest desire is to
be a good mom who is always available for my children
and lately, mothering has been so very emotional.
Most of my Nies live away from me, and communicating, connecting,
solving problems and validating with them long distance
feels so challenging and unnatural for me.
But I am so glad we do.
I dream about the days past when we'd all gather in my bed or on
the couch to read a storybook with lots of colorful pictures.
Those were the best days!
It's incredible to me how our family has evolved
through moves, homes, jobs, situations, missions,
school, and church service.
We're holding hands across the globe together by rejoicing,
and supporting each other during our ups and downs, highs and lows.
I am thankful for the Savior, who helps us make sense of complex things,
who gives us hope and peace just by saying a simple prayer,
or like today, connecting to Him on a walk in the tall grass.