Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Figuring it out.

Today I waited in line in the rain with Lottie to get into the grocery store, 
and I know this is the norm for lots of people on planet earth right now.  
I'm not going to lie to you, today was a hard one.
And I think maybe it had to do with the fact that the 
Nies are all home from school and
 I'm trying to figure out their homeschool packets because I feel like
if they get behind they will fail in life and it will be all my fault.
I know I'm being dramatic, but today was real, and 
everything seems so dire right now.
And I'm trying to figure out new schedules and everything else that 
generally goes along with homemaking in these crazy days.
And so most of the day today I felt guilt for my failures as a mother.
I am so tired of the words "social distancing" and "quarantined".
 Also, why is all the toilet paper flying off the shelves?

I came home from the store and told Christian that even though
I bought a pack of fake nails, a hula hoop, and unicorn face mask
for Lottie I was so grateful she was with me,
because we laughed together and she was for the most part
 totally unaware of the stress
that I and everyone else in the grocery store were feeling.
I pulled up to The White House in the pouring rain and as 
the garage door opened my
boys were standing there to bring in all the groceries.
And then I remembered why I love to be a mother.
I love raising good children who are thoughtful and kind.
I love raising children who are aware of others and most of all,
 children who love and trust God in difficult times
because that's what matters most.

And, tomorrow is another day.
Thank goodness!

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