Thursday, October 15, 2015


Taking selfie-style photos with my girlies is common for us.
I feel grateful that I have gained the courage to recapture memories
 with my children without fear or hesitation. 
There was a time when I would look at photographs of myself before my accident, 
and an overwhelming sense of sadness would consume me, 
and I would cry.
Although I don't cry as often anymore, 
I had a moment of weakness last night and broke down a little.
It happens.
My life just changed so abruptly.  
I often feel like my accident was like a dear friend who died suddenly. 
I've used this analogy before, but so much just died on August 16, 2008.  
I miss the day-to-day, I miss my life in AZ, 
I miss my little children, I miss my schedule, 
the way my house smelled or even watering the plants on my porch 
at exactly 12:35, right before Claire's school bus pulled up to 
the Lazona house and dropped her off from Kindergarten.
 I miss hearing Mr. Nielson drive his motorcycle
down our street on his way home from work, 
I miss teaching yoga, and I miss Lindsay Jones.
But whether the accident happened or not, we were bound to grow and change.  
It was just faster and harder than usual, which sometimes makes me sad.
I hope my message of the healing power of Christ and seeing the good in change
even when it's hard, will come across in my thoughts.
I want them to know they have much potential, strength, and passion.
And that can carry them far on the most difficult days-
as it has for me in my darkest hours.

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