Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The horizon

This morning I did about 50 loads of laundry and in between
  correcting a math page from Gigs and listening to Lottie read to me,
 I folded and put away clothes.  I caught up on other chores that
I had neglected while out of town, and made a grocery list.
You know that saying that you need a vacation from your vacation. 
 I sort of feel that way.
After school, I took a few Little Nies with me to the store so I could
refill our pantry and refrigerator. We were on empty.
 There was a moment in the vegetable aisle that 
I felt like crying- and it wasn't because of the onions.  
No, I was overwhelmed.    
For one thing, I kept thinking about my manure stained 
dog back at the ranch that needed a bath in a bad way. 
I was grumpy thinking about going home 
bathing him, putting away the groceries, and making dinner.
Basically reality set in, and that's normal. (Right!?).
But if I am being honest, the root of my anxiety was 
because our family is going through major changes.
 Lottie has felt my stress and it's made her unsettled- kind of 
like she's in the terrible twos again.  
She's demanding, emotional, and acts out- I know why,
she senses stress in my life. I get it, because I feel similar. 
Despite our obvious LOVE for the ranch,
 I feel some uneasiness about change on the horizon,
and Lottie has noticed.
I've always wanted stability and balance in my home, and we've
been a little off since moving to the ranch.

BUT, as I rely on God and my husband I know that 
I will always find peace and direction even in (what I think) is darkness.  
Through it all, and despite heartache,
 I know that relationships can change, 
and heal, and then grow.  

Turns out the forest fire I saw last night was actually a controlled-burn.
Good thing, but it was sure smoky and gross all day today.
* * * * * * * *
Teachings from RMN:
Spiritual Witnesses, October 2007
 "The Bible and the Book of Mormon are both witnesses of Jesus Christ.
 They teach that He is the Son of God, 
that He lived an exemplary life, that He atoned for all mankind, 
that He died upon the cross and rose again as the resurrected Lord. 
They teach that He is the Savior of the world."