During our Christmas break we lounge around in the living room
and watch movie after movie.
It's a highlight of the season. Tonight Claire popped in a few home videos.
We watched a video in 2004. Christian was graduating from BYU.
Claire was just almost three and Jane was one.
I am young and pretty and Mr. Nielson's smile seems larger than life,
(and he talks like he's 18).
I couldn't help but long for those days. They were simple and easy,
and my body was vibrant and healthy.
My neck was slender and long, my lips were plump and had beautiful shape!
My fingers moved normally and I had great fingernails.
For some reason tonight I watched these videos and longed.
I longed for my carefree easy days,
I was relatively stress-free and my body functioned perfectly.
Life is harder now, it's much more complicated, moody,
stressful, frustrating, and much more expensive.
Someday's I think I get it. I see the vision and can move forward
confidently, and other days I feel lost and worried.
I put Lottie to bed tonight and knelt down at her bedside
looking into her beautiful brown eyes.
Then just like I always do, I promised her that tomorrow
was going to be a wonderful day.
Then I walked in my room, climbed into my bed and
prayed for a better day in the morning.
I lay my head on my pillow and the hopeful words of Jeffery R. Holland came to me.
May a loving Father in Heaven bless us tomorrow....
knowing that His divine love and
unfailing help will be with us even when we struggle-no, will be with us
especially when we struggle."
I think that was God promising me a wonderful day tomorrow too.