During our Christmas break, we usually lounge around in the living room
and watch a lot of movies.
It's a highlight of the season. Tonight Claire popped in a few home videos.
We watched a video in 2004. Christian was graduating from BYU.
Claire was just almost three and Jane was one.
I am young and pretty and Mr. Nielson's smile seems larger than life,
(and he talks like he's 18).
I couldn't help but long for those days. They were simple and easy,
and my body was vibrant and healthy.
My neck was slender and long, my lips were plump and had a beautiful shape!
My fingers moved normally and I had great fingernails.
For some reason tonight I watched these videos and longed.
I longed for my carefree easy days,
I was relatively stress-free and my body functioned perfectly.
Life is harder now, it's much more complicated, moody,
stressful, frustrating, and much more expensive.
Someday's I think I get it. I see the vision and can move forward
confidently, and other days I feel lost and worried.
I put Lottie to bed tonight and knelt down at her bedside
looking into her beautiful brown eyes.
Then just like I always do, I promised her that tomorrow
was going to be a wonderful day.
Then I walked into my room, climbed into my bed and
prayed for a better day in the morning.
I lay my head on my pillow and the hopeful words of Jeffery R. Holland came to me.
May a loving Father in Heaven bless us tomorrow....
knowing that His divine love and
unfailing help will be with us even when we struggle-no, will be with us
especially when we struggle."
I think that was God promising me a wonderful day tomorrow too.