Chatting tomorrow, join me.
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I read an old journal entry from May 2009.
I remembered my hands were still wrapped up in
tan compression garments and bandages.
It really hurt write and my handwriting is so bad.
I scribbled my frustrated thoughts down before bed:
"I really want to go to the bathroom by myself- without any help.
I really wanted to change Gigs' diaper by myself- without any help.
I want to look at myself and like it.
I really want the kids to sit by me and not stare at me like I'm a stranger.
I want to get down on the floor and play toys with them.
I realize that I need to have courage to try and to work hard.
I have to be wiling to fail and then try again without losing it.
I seem to cry and scream a lot these days.
I need to keep trying and failing until I am strong enough to succeed.
I can do this.
Grateful I am where I am now.
Grateful for the lessons learned then, and lessons I am learning now.
Grateful I can look in the mirror now and give myself a thumbs up.
I really hope you can too.