Monday, September 21, 2015

Simple steps

Yesterday I thought about when I began exercising 
(hiking) again after the accident.
Simple steps.  Very simple small steps at first.  
I was very careful and paranoid of falling down
because falling down meant surgery.
I went slow and steady and my exercise routines usually ended up with 
me crying on my bed because of how discouraged I felt.  
Things were not the same, and my body didn't move like it used to.  
The things I loved to do were hard and frustrating now.
I remember looking at my body in the shower with some pity and disgust.  
I was embarrassed and promised myself I would never ever wear clothes that would show off my skin.  I didn't want to make Mr. Nielson or my children embarrassed.  
But there comes a point, when you have to just live.  You have to just move on.  
Move way on.  
Not that you have to forget or ignore the hard times. 
Of course you have to acknowledge the pain and hurt, but
I have learned that when I stop thinking about myself 
and about what others think about me, 
I use that energy and focus it on productive things like; my children, my spirituality, 
my dedication to the Lord, my family, and my husband. 
I can push harder, faster, and get myself healthier.
 It's hard to do, especially when my body hurts.
This is certainly a process, but I feel stronger and I know that 
and great things did come to pass and do come to pass for me.
I move faster now, I am stronger, and have confidence in myself.  
I started appreciated the things I could do and stopped focusing on the things that I couldn't do,
and it has changed my life.