Uphill Battle

Because every single day feels like an uphill battle for me,

Christian makes it a point to tell me something either before we go to bed 

or before he heads out the door, that helps me survive the day.

Today, before he left for work, he reminded me that it was the first

BYU football game, and our family tradition is to get donuts for the

first football game of the season.

While the donuts didn't sound great, going with him in the car

and watching a football game sounded fun.

And it got me through the day.

When it was the afternoon, just like he said, he came and picked

me up, put me in his truck, and off we went.

(With a couple throw-up sacks for good measure).

First stop was donuts, and then to get a frozen Coke at McDonald's

because that is the only other thing right now that tastes good.

And gumballs.

 

Hands

This picture of Jane and Claire holding baby Lottie, a few 

months after she was born in 2012 is keeping me going today.

I love thinking that baby six will have many hands from her three

big sisters and three big brothers (including a brother-in-law),

 who will love, care for, hold, and teach her.

This is such a unique scenario for our family, and I'm so grateful for it.

I'm so grateful God trusts me- that He trusts our family to welcome another

little miracle into our home.

It still seems crazy and overwhelming,

but I trust in God and His plan for our family.

A Mess

 This morning, after throwing up, I took myself outside and had a good cry.

I'm emotional, I'm so sick, and I'm hot.  August is killing me.

Then took a look at my garden that I planted with the very best of

 gardening intentions, when I was not sick and not pregnant.

 Now everything seems like a giant mess. 

I feel the way it looks: disorganized, exhausted, and frustrated.

My doctors gave me a patch that goes on my behind to help with my nausea,

but it makes my eyes dilate, and I can't see anything.

I can't read, I can't watch TV, I'm basically just miserable.

I know that someday, this will all just be a memory, 

but right now, it's very, very real.

Goodbye Gigs

Early this morning, when everything was dark, Christian, Ollie, and I

 drove Elder Gigs to the airport to say goodbye as he heads to the

Provo MTC, where he will stay for 8 weeks, 

learning the Slovak language and culture before 

leaving for good in October.

I was so sad.

I was also so sick.

It was a terrible combination.

But Gigs was so brave, carrying his purple luggage behind him, 

off to do his duty.

I was so proud of him.

He's been planning and preparing for this day ALL HIS LIFE.

These next two years will shape and mold him.

He'll grow into a man and be spiritually strong.

On the way home, I threw up.

Later in the day, my mom sent me a few photos of when

she and my dad picked him up from the airport in Salt Lake City.

They took him to lunch before dropping him off for good.

I cried all day thinking about him.

Thinking about when we stayed up way too late the night before

packing up his clothes and room.

I lay on his bed with my throw-up sack

trying my best to help and give direction.

Then I cried, thinking about his green cup he kept on top of the fridge 

where he was the only one tall enough to reach it. 

And I cried when I saw his Simpsons flips under the dinner table.

I'm keeping the cup up there until he gets home.

First Day Of School 2025

Today, Lottie started her 8th-grade year.

Here's to hoping this year is better than last.

After I dropped her off, I went home and died in my bed.

Around 3:00, Gigs' MTC lunch break happened 

right when we needed to pick Lottie up from school,

so Gigs drove us to her school, and then we drove into Chapel Hill

and grabbed an early dinner

together as she told us all about her first day.

I think it's going to be a good year.

She's sooo darling!

Meanwhile, Jane is taking over all my Barre3 responsibilities

beucase I can't even get myself to go inside the studio.

Thank you, Jane, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

 

So Long, Farewell!

Today, Elder Nielson rehomed most of his beloved critters.  
During his lunch break, he packed them up and drove them to their new homes.  

I know it was painful for him.  But, alas, it had to happen.

In my mind, I'll always see him as the photo above.

Little, adventurous, curious, and into all things critter.

So long, Chino and Candace!

Later in the evening, we all met him at the grocery store, 

where we each split up and then grabbed what we wanted for dinner.

I can't cook. The smells. I can't with the smells.

Honestly, it's so hard to do anything.

But I can manage to get myself a bowl of soup and saltine crackers

at our local grocery store.

Lottie, Christian, and Ollie love the sushi,

and Jane gets a sandwich.

Only a few more days with my Elder Nielson before

he heads to the MTC in Provo!

Back to School Feast 2025

Today was our annual BACK TO SCHOOL FEAST!

One of the most anticipated nights of the year.

Knowing how important this night is for our family, I prayed

so hard that the Lord would give me the energy to get out of bed

and make it memorable for my Nies.

And He did.

And I was so thankful.

Our theme this year was taken

from scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants, 82:3.

"For of him unto whom much is given much is required;"

Our family has been INCREDIBLY blessed this year, and each Nie

has so much to give and share;

Claire, as a young married woman working while going to school,

and starting a new life and family in Arizona.

Jane, who chose to move back to North Carolina, and be in the studio

manager of Barre3, and put off her education at BYU for

a semester to work and help me.

Oliver, who will begin a new life in Idaho and start his education

(and dating!) post-mission.

Nicholas, who will be headed to Slovakia for two years 

to teach people about Jesus in their native Slovak language

And, Lottie, who will start 8th grade after a very

disappointing and rough 7th grade, with friends and social pressures.

We all have been given SO MUCH and can share SO MUCH!

I chose the colors to be pink and blue as a little nod

to baby girl Nielson #6.

Of course, our Piggy & Dirt stars were the main attraction,

and have been for years and years!

We ate:

Caesar salad

Three berry salad with coconut drizzle & lime.

Grilled sesame-crusted miso salmon 

Warm white rolls

 And for dessert, I made a strawberry three-layer cake 

I also had hoodies made for each Nie with our new theme.

Again, the fact that I cooked was a miracle.

I KNOW God was holding my hands the whole time.

A star for baby Nielson girl #6.

Her first one!

...And then I threw up.