Tuesday, May 04, 2021

The Cinco de Mayo that wasn't.

 This was the first year I didn't make Mexican chocolate cake for Cinco de Mayo.
I couldn't believe it.  Usually, we eat Mexican food 
followed by my delicious cake at home.
Not this year.  Christian worked all day and into the evening 
and I have to admit this year I felt super unmotivated.
The owners of The White House are selling it and we need
 to be out by the end of the month.
Everything seems to be coming to a head for our family.
Some days I feel like it's too much to handle.  Today was one of those days.
Around 7:00 I gathered up the Nies and Christian and we managed to
drive into Chapel Hill (with Nacho Libre blaring in the speakers) and had dinner
at Chipotle WITHOUT cake for dessert.
I told Chrisitan I was so sad I didn't make the cake and of course
he told me it wasn't a big deal. 
But it IS a big deal to me because for me, the cake symbolizes
who I am, it's what I do, and what I'm good at.
The cake symbolizes happiness, peace, and contentment.
So it's not about the cake, (although my cake is really good).
After we got home, we took Angus and walked to one of our favorite 
little spots near The White House.
We listened to the rolling thunder above
 and enjoyed the warm pre-summer wind blowing.
We hoped to catch a glance at the first fireflies, but it's still too early.
My family walked ahead of me and I watched them.
 Even if my future looks a little bleak right now, 
I have to believe it's not forever.  
In my morning scripture study, I had read a talk
by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin who boldly testified:
"Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with 
suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome."
I'm just in a moment.
No, we didn't have cake when we got home from our walk,
But it did get really dark outside and begin to thunder loudly
followed by an intense rain storm.
At that moment I felt loved by Him as I sat on the front porch with my 
healthy happy children enjoying God's love-
 in the form of a rainstorm.