In late November I noticed that most nights I could find
Jane hard at work on the computer at the kitchen table.
I knew something was up when she kept asking me questions about the accident,
like when I woke up from my coma, and if I remembered the
therapist's name in the hospital who counseled and prepared the children before
they saw me for the first time.
After a few days, I finally asked Jane what she was doing,
but she was pretty vague on the details.
She didn't offer up too many details and diverted my questions.
Finally I learned that she was writing her experiences about the
accident for an English paper in school.
Jane is a private person, and guards her emotions so fiercely sometimes
it's hard to get her to open up,
so I was over the moon to learn she was writing this paper
and couldn't wait to read it!
Problem was, she wouldn't let me read it- not right away anyway.
I think she was worried if I read the paper I would cry and then
ask her a thousand questions,
and she wasn't ready to talk about that. I get it!
Since 2008, Jane has suppressed a lot of her feelings,
especially since she really struggled to see me again for the first time,
and I think that made her feel bad.
On Christmas morning she handed me a box wrapped in pretty paper and a ribbon.
Inside the box was the essay she had worked so hard on.
Trying not to make a big deal about it, I hugged her and
told her I'd wait to read the paper at a more quiet private time.
I'm glad I did.
It was pretty emotional reading about her little 5 year old memories.
"While these memories and months were some of the
hardest and darkest I can remember,
It strengthened my relationship with my mother. It helped me know that there
is a God looking after me, orchestrating my life for the better.
Blessing follow trials and miracles happen on this earth.
I have seen and experienced them.
I know firsthand that beauty is found inside of us, and
that meant understanding my mom's scars to learn it."
Our accident will forever be in our lives.
I am constantly learning new lessons, old lessons, and new perspective each day!
My children were all apart of this huge life change,
it's true they were young, but they have memories
that they will always remember.
(Read more about me and Jane, check out this article by Jamiee Rose)
"Regardless of the issue, hard can be good for those who will move
forward with faith and trust the Lord and His plan."