Monday, March 22, 2010

Family Love

I am home.
Around 1:00 this morning, our familygator drove onto
Briar Avenue. Everything was dark and quiet.

Mom had planted colorful pansies in my planters 
and stocked the refrigerator with the food she knew my family would love.
Inside my home, it smelled of me. My house, my life, my things. 
 It was an awesome feeling.
The next morning we worked all day bringing in stuff from the car 
but was interrupted when Claire,
who, out of the blue, asked me why the F-word was a bad word.

Where on earth did that come from??

I was shocked. Am I there already? Do I have to worry about my kids 
saying and knowing swear words? 
Clearly, I wasn't.
All she needs is her paper dolls and dress-ups, and that is ALL!
I can't stand it. Stop growing, stop.

We drove bikes down to Mom and Dad's house in the evening for dinner.
 Pretty soon, all my siblings and spouses started showing up.
Seeing my brothers and sisters, whom I desperately missed while I was gone, 
was so much fun.
Each one had a clever joke about my disgusting monkey tail,
but it wouldn't be normal if no one mentioned something -so I was ready for it.

Families are so beautiful. Everything little bit about them makes me happy. 
 They remind me why I worked so hard to live; 
to enjoy listening to Christopher play beautifully on the piano,
for Courtney, who can crack a joke so effortlessly, 
Lucy, who is always happy to see me and loves my children.
 It's the kiss on the cheek I get from Jesse and how Matt looks into my eyes when we talk.
It's Page's thorough health checks and questions,
and Andrew's comments about an incredible experience he had at church.
And if Steve were here, it would be how he always tickles my back
while asking me questions.
I tried really hard to do my own hair today. 
 It was a ginormous job for my stupid hands.
 I went through 17 rubber bands until I was fed up and asked
 Mr. Nielson to do it.  Someday I'll get it...right?!
I still can't get used to my face, hands, profile, and, well, just me.
I'm still shocked!

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