Friday, January 24, 2020

“Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time”

I have been "heavy laden" lately.
I often re-read my favorite words by prophets and Church leaders
for support and healing when I feel broken or sad.
This talk has been on my mind lately,
and I find great solace and peace in Elder Cook's words
as I seek for strength to continue forward.
I found this photo of me with my three Little Nies in 
2005 when we lived in New Jersey.  This Spring day we had 
ventured into the city to visit a friend who lived in Manhattan.
I had Claire and Jane each grip the back pockets to my jeans,
and I held Ollie close to my chest where he slept most the day.
(I had big muscles and lots of patience back then).

This photo is more than just a photo, it's basically
my life in every way, and I love it.
Motherhood is so different these days.
I look at this photo and remember the sweetness of it all.
No cell phones or social media to take up any of my time,
and I miss those days.
 I look at this photo and I know I was generally stressed out, but
more than anything I just remember being so happy.
I don't remember comparing my lifestyle to anyone else, 
or who was who, or what was cool, or
worrying about not getting invited to parties.
 Sure there were days when I'd lock myself in the closet
for a few minutes to breathe and refocus.  I mean,
I did have three children under the age of four!
It was never easy, and I've never said it was, but I had prepared
myself early in my life to be a mother so when it came 
at the young age of 19,
I felt like I knew what it would take, and I was ready.
I was all in.
These photos have helped me these past few days
remember what's truly important, and I am so grateful.

Also I to note:
On the way home in the Holland tunnel one Little Nie
really had to go tinkle, so I dumped out the fishy crackers
from a zip-loc bag and ta-da!

I used to do things like that all the time.
Yep, I'm that mother!