Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Move and do

Last night, just like most nights, 
 I put Lottie to bed then turned on her regular lullaby 
music to help her doze off to dreamland.
As I walked out the door I heard her little voice ask me to come
lay down by her.
I thought about the sink full of dishes waiting for me downstairs, 
the kitchen floor covered in dinner crumbs, and 
 and Claire and Jane waiting for me to sit down at the computer
 to look at school clothes they picked out.
I ignored those thoughts (it wasn't easy to do), and 
instead climbed in her little twin size bed, 
and covered myself in the covers with her.
Every so often I'd open my eyes and she would be staring right at me.
 "Go to sleep" I'd whisper.
  "Ok, I just don't want you to leave" she'd whisper back.
"As long as your awake Lottie, I'll be right here." 
Then she reached for my hand and held it tight, and just
like that, she fell to sleep.
I must have stared at her for five minutes before leaving.
My thoughts have been heavy lately as we approach the ELEVEN
year anniversary of our airplane accident on Friday.
 I am sooooo grateful to be alive and experiencing simple 
meaningful moments like that.
I felt overcome with emotion as I recalled God's love for me and
my family, and the many, many times he's come to our aid to support
my family, mourn with us, give us strength, forgiveness, compassion, and grace.
I thought about my own mother who was steadfast at my side when I 
was in a hospital bed.  She too would hold my hand we had
  many similar conversations as Lottie and I had tonight.

Just today in my personal scripture reading in The Book of Mormon, 
I read this beautiful verse in Mosiah:
[He]"who has created you 
from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, 
by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do 
according to your own will, and even supporting you from
 one moment to another—I say,
  ...serve him with all your whole souls."
And that's what I'm going to do.