Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Pinkie, Adieu!

The night before my pinkie amputation
we had a goodbye pinkie party in Lindsay's kitchen.
We drank sparkling apple juice in fancy glasses, 
listened to music about goodbyes,
 and we shared good memories about my amazing finger.
It was a great way to bid adieu to a courageous member of my body,
she had served her purpose, and it was ok to say goodbye.
(Right Deb!?)
Last Sunday a few days after the surgery, 
Mr. Nielson changed the bandage on my left hand while I tearfully looked on.  
With the Little Nies around me on the bed we all braced for change.
Mr. Nielson didn't take down the whole dressing,
 but unraveled enough for us to see the dramatic difference in my hand.
We all quietly shed a few tears (especially me), and Oliver tearfully 
rubbed my back and periodically kissed my cheek
 to tell me he loved me no matter what.
Early this morning Mr. Nielson and I drove
back to the Mayo Clinic where Dr. L took down the bandages and
 inspected the wound site.  

This time all of the bandages came off and the site cleaned (ouch!).
With dried blood and thick blue stitches holding skin together, 
it was really hard to look at, 
and all I could think about was that my hand resembled the hand of a
 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
I hope at some point I feel comfortable letting my hand free 
without having to feel like I have to cover it up to
feel accepted around other people.
I suspect just like my face, legs, and arms, I will get there.
These things do take time, and I am allowing myself that.

Lucy sent me photos of her favorite cartoon characters who only have 4 fingers
which to be honest, perked me right up (Minnie Mouse).
Jane told me about a few "missing finger" clubs she knows of.
(I think I should join).
Also Spencer brought home a 600 gallon carton of my favorite 
bubble gum ice cream and so tonight, somehow...I feel better.

(Pinkie post here)