Friday, September 04, 2009

My perfect life.



Nicholas burned his finger today. It was heart-breaking. I, of course know of his pain and felt helpless. Tears carried on for hours and his only solice was a baggie of ice.

I carried the boys to bed and lay with them as I always do.
My mind often wanders as I lay and listen to my boys sleep.
Tonight I walked down my hallway in my Mesa home. I was carrying laundry and toys in a basket. I walked past the boys room. Picked up nicely with a few toys on the carpet. Nicholas sat in front of his large window playing his mini-piano while Ollie made train tracks.

I walked further past my yellow office/guest room. My computer was open and a few stickie notes attached to the screen. The bed was made perfectly and carpet vacuumed. Then I turn into the girls room. The beds were not made. I lay down the basket and made their beds. Again perfect. I put away toys and clothes opened the blinds, turned around and smiled. Perfect.

Then I passed the bathroom. The towels folded nicely and everything sparkled. Next I entered my room. My beautiful white bed spread and my clothes all in perfect order. A 'good morning darling' note was placed on my dresser from Mr. Nielson.

I never made it to the other rooms becuase Nicholas' ice pack fell down and he started shaking his hand wildly. I fixed the ice and lay back down. I lay for a few minutes. My heart hurt and I was lonely for my once almost perfect life. I missed my old home, neighbors, friends, and my face.

Finally I slipped out of bed and walked up to my room. Beds were unmade, toys spread all over the floor, garbage and popsicle sticks on the ground. And then I smiled. It was still perfect. I was alive and happy. Sure I miss the almost perfect life I once had.
But right now, this is perfect too.