Monday, July 06, 2009

Ghost in this house.

All my guest are gone.
I had been looking forward to the forth of July weekend for months. Friends and family flew in from Arizona-some I hadn't seen since the accident 11 months ago.
My best friends.
It was amazing to see them. Now they are gone. I feel somewhat depressed.
Yesterday was a day of mourning. I lay in bed most of the day except for once when I checked my e-mail and stumbled across this photo of me.

I broke down.
My face no longer looks like her, and her is me. But I don't look like her.
(yes, I am so feeling sorry for myself)
I thought about the song Alison Krauss sings called 'Ghost in this house'.
The lyrics go like this:

I'm just a ghost in this house
I'm just a shadow upon these walls
As quietly as a mouse I haunt these halls
I'm just a whisper of smoke
I'm all that's left of two hearts on fire
That once burned out of control
You took my body and soul
I'm just a ghost in this house

I feel like that Ghost.
I miss my old self so much it hurts everyday and just when I think I have accepted the
"new me" I remember her, and it hurts.
But I am marching onward, I know I am loved and love is what gets me through.