Mr. Nielson and I packed up our smallest suitcase and headed back to the heat, and
back to Arizona for the first time (for me)
since the accident almost a short year ago.
Our mission in going was to talk to doctor Lettieri,
(Dr. L. aka: the master plastic surgeon)
about medical my body and fixing some painful scaring and possible neck reconstruction.
It went well, but honestly, I was more overwhelmed than anything
and I left the hospital sad and defeated.
So we went to get a treat and my friend Jamiee suggested we try Sprinkles cupcakes.
When we got there we were greeted with boxes of cupcakes in every flavor.
They were so good! I even managed to save a few to take home to the Nies
Driving through Mesa was heart-breaking.
Seeing the old sites made my stomach sick.
We drove past the market where I spent hours and hours buying delicious produce
for meals for my family.
We drove by Trader Joe's where I'd shop once a week for food and for the best
sparkling lemonade (in the coolest looking bottles) for our parties in the backyard.
I saw the Target where I spent most of my days letting the
kids run around because it was blazing hot to play outside.
And then I saw the Main Street sign which looked me straight in the eyes
as if to coax me home to my house on Lazona.
My old home.
My old life.
I didn't have the heart to see the old homestead.
Just way too hard.
Then we visited the Maricopa Medical hospital where I
spent a very large chunk of my recovery after the accident.
It was there where I was life-flighted and saved.
I saw the nurses and talked with doctors who all had a hand in my care.
I was totally emotional looking into their eyes!
On Monday night I got home to the in-laws and lay on the couch.
I felt lonely. I was super confused and tired.
So I thought about Monday when we got together with Lindsay and Spencer
and had delicious pizza at LGO just like old times together.
Except I'm different, and I hate it.
I was eager to sit them down and explain what the doctor had proposed to us
for my next big surgery and change.
I was really worried to talk to them. Especially Jane.
But I really wanted their feedback and see how they reacted to the plan.
Jane was most emotional and even told me in sobs that:
"Most 6-year-old's don't have to do this".
I held her tight and told her she was absolutely right.
But I didn't know what to say back to her.
So I told her she was a very special 6-year-old, and everything would be OK.
Then she told me she wasn't feeling very good and her burps tasted like veggie-hot dogs.
Then I think that closed that conversation. For now, anyway.
photo taken by bluelily

****
All and all, things went well.
I do have some tough decisions to make and I strongly believe that
ultimately we need to feel Heavenly Father's love and comfort that I know
He will bless me through the Holy Ghost.
Mr. Nielson always reminds me that he is active in my life
and cares about our decisions.
I know, and when all is said and done,
I have enormous support from family, friends, communities (Mesa and Provo!)
I love you-
Nie signing off.