Thursday, June 04, 2009

Oh what a night.

Last night Mr. Nielson tucked me into bed after we watched:
Man vs Wild with special guest Will Ferrell. (We laughed really hard.) and all was well. Pain was under control and love was in the air-until I smelled something else in the air...Jimmy. Jimmy smelled so bad all night long. Even worse, Jimmy lay directly in the path of our fan
{which we endearingly call "The Mayor" after my Dad-because he wouldn't be caught dead without a fan blowing on him at night}
So every 3 minutes I would hear pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst.
You and I know just exactly what that means..I know you do. Immediately the fan would carry the stench directly to me. I would gasp and I almost passed out.
Was someone making bacon?
Anyway, the smell lasted far too long and I couldn't take it any longer. I nudged Mr. Nielson and asked (begged) him to please take the Jimmy out. Mr. Nielson mumbled and pulled himself out of bed to let Jimmy out.
Mr. Nielson stepped on an exposed stinky diaper that Jimmy dug out of the garbage.
The smell was a good combination of Gigs and Jimmy flarties.
Mr. Nielson said a bad word and kicked the dog out the door.
Mr. Nielson cleaned his foot and came back to bed in a mad terror.
I pretended I was asleep.
The next 45 minutes while Jimmy was outside, he barked and barked as loud as he could.
I was dying.
I looked at my peaceful sleeping husband and then I woke him up-I had too.
"Christian, Jimmy is barking" I said very calmly.
20 minutes of persuading Mr. Nielson to bring Jimmy back in he finally, in a very, very tired rage he pushed the covers off and huffed out of our cozy bed.
Mr. Nielson remembered about the stinky diaper he stepped on just minutes before and cringed. With Jimmy barking, poop on the floor Mr. Nielson went into the bathroom for cleaning supplies then he tripped on the bathroom stool.
Mr. Nielson picked up the stool and threw it into the laundry room.
Mr. Nielson said some special words {he picked up while living in New Jersey }to describe his feelings.
Mr. Nielson vacuumed the bedroom, threw away the stink, and calmed the dog.
I pretended I was asleep.

I love Mr. Nielson.