Last year, when I was pregnant with Minnie, I felt intense pain
in my right pinkie finger.
Then I noticed my finger was super crooked,
which was weird because I'd never really noticed it before.
I think my body was in survival mode all the time since
I was so sick with Minnie that
honestly, my pinkie didn't even phase me.
I was barely living back then.
I visited a hand surgeon today who informed me that I had broken my finger,
(who knows when)
and it has since fused improperly, which is now causing me constant pain.
My hands are always in pain anyway, but this is way worse.
He presented several treatment options, but ultimately,
all of them lead to the same conclusion: amputation.
This is not great news.
I remember months ago, as I was driving in the car
I had a little "inkling" that I'd probably at some point need to get
my pinkie amputated.
It was such a strange thought, but I think that inkling was preparing me.
My fingers are all little soldiers.
I'm so grateful for them, and the little movement I do have.
