Tuesday, May 07, 2024

(NO)Dead Ends

It was one of those days.
The hard kind when my deep pleading prayers don't feel like
they are getting any answers, and personal revelation is silent.
There are deadlines relentlessly pounding at the door, and peace 
seems entirely out of reach.
I question all the decisions and the pathways that got me to where I am
today, wondering if they were the right ones
and if they will help me and my family move forward and progress.
Did we turn the wrong way?
Are we at a dead end?
Somedays, I question.
I don't question the Lord and His power and miracles.
I've seen too many of those in my life to wonder.
I know He's capable of anything and everything.
But I wonder if I've used up too many of the miracles,
and he's tired of me asking and pleading.

Claire shared with me a story from Elder Holland:
"He expects us to pray and trust and be believing,
and not give up, and not panic, and not retreat, and not jump ship,
when something doesn't seem to be going just right.
We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting,
following that same path, and we will live to fall in His arms
and feel His embrace and hear Him say, 
"I told you that it'd be okay.
I told you it would be alright."
Those words touched me, 
tomorrow is another day, and I'll wake up like I do every morning,
but I can have peace knowing that He'll NEVER abandon me.
Or my family.
He will never give up on us.
I need to be still and wait.
When we make decisions, God expects us to pray and 
then trust Him—not give up, panic, or “jump ship.”

With God, there are no dead ends.

This evening, Christian and I drove around town with the
windows down in silence.
It was good silence.
Thinking silence.
We drove to a spot we like to visit because we have a dream
at this spot, and we like to talk about it as if it were happening.
And at the end of the day, I pulled out a delicious
can of COCONUT DR. PEPPER (it's amazing),
and saw a message on my phone that Jane had sent me
 that we are officially halfway to Halloween.
The Lord knows I love both of those things and maybe that's my
sign that He loves me and that He knows our situation.
Maybe He's telling me it's ok.

Yes, it's going to be ok.

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