Friday, March 26, 2021

Clane! Come back!.

 Today we are getting ready to go to Arizona tomorrow
for a 14-day trip! 
We finally made a plan, scraped the money, and will head out early tomorrow. 
We will drive to Arkansas, where Christian will finally introduce me to a woman
and her 2 kids (who are adults now) that 
he baptized in Kentucky almost 23 years ago. 
He wants to bless her and give her a hug.
We will drive to Albequaque on the second day, then into St. George on
the third day, where we'll stay for a few days while Christian attends
a cattle convention where he is the keynote speaker (Go Bov-IQ!).
Our last leg brings us into Gilbert from Thursday until Thursday.
We have many appointments with the burn center and are preparing to
leave Jane in Arizona for the summer. (and our car!).
I can't believe I'm letting Jane leave me.  
She spent most of the day (actually the past week) upstairs getting things
put together for this trip.  
Part of me is so excited for her to have an adventure, 
and I know it will pull and stretch her in really good ways.  
And she needs that right now.
Barre3 asked her to work for them this summer at the front desk like 
what Claire did last summer, and she is really, really excited!
It feels so odd to send both my girls away from me.
Clane! What is happening to you?
Where is time slipping away, and what will Lottie do without you both?
Claire asked me to download her photos on her phone 
so she'll have more storage on her phone for incoming mission photos. 
Going through her pictures and seeing
life years ago was so much fun. 
But, I also felt a little melancholy, too. 
 Life was such a dream years ago when we
 lived in Fox Hill in our gorgeous home 
surrounded by family and mountains.  
Then I started feeling homesick for a life gone by. 
It's hard to feel any other way
when right now, life is really stressful and overwhelming.
Following your dreams is less glamorous and inspiring than one thinks.
It's actually very, SUPER stressful.
But I believe in Christian and his vision for our family and BovIQ.
I hate that our plans have yet to be realized yet.
I feel out of control and irresponsible.
I know it's so important to stay faithful and to trust in God's promises,
and He promised we'd prosper in the land if we kept the
commandments. Christian and I are trying more than ever to do that,
and most importantly teach it to our Nies.

Up and leaving a VERY comfortable life, with opportunities, and 
experiences, in a way, have been the worst.
But also, the best because I believe in us!
And boy, we've had some great times along the way!

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