Thursday, April 30, 2020


On my way to grab the laundry upstairs this morning, I
looked into the boy's room and then lost it.
There were probably five empty Gatorade bottles
and sixty used crumpled-up tissue balls under their beds.
I also saw candy wrappers, sheets, blankets, clean clothes scattered on the ground,
and broken toys in pieces everywhere.
AND it smelled disgusting (thanks to Fern Nicholas's hedgehog).
In the bathroom, garbage was piled up nearly to
the ceiling with ants busy at work.
Wait, wasn't I just in their room YESTERDAY? How did it
turn into a dump in ONE DAY? I could feel the fire in my nose.
But I calmly told the boys we needed to work together to make the
room livable. I calmly asked them why they let the garbage pile up
 and why they have to wait for me to remind them to CLEAN UP?
I asked them why they kept broken toys and a pile of sticks in the corner
of the room, and why does Nicholas have a GIANT rock under his bed?!
With every rhetorical question I asked, my heart raced
and my voice escalated.
Oliver hugged me and said playfully, "what are moms for?".
It wasn't funny. I was in a fierce mood, mainly because
I knew that after my rampage of this mother & sons clean-up
I still had school to battle with them.
This is me on a typical day (x 30):
Me: "Come on, let's start school!"
Me: "Ok, time to come inside and start school."
Me: "Ok, 5 more minutes, then come in and start school."
Me: "Put that down, come on!"
Me: "I don't want to do school until 5:00 
like we did yesterday! Please just focus, and finish! Come on!"
Me: "Ok, I'm taking your phone away."
And just when we get on a roll, it's time for lunch,
and everyone knows that no one takes school seriously anymore after lunch.
At exactly 12:30, the Nies jumped up from the table
and left me alone in a mess of papers, pencils, and books.
Everyone was congregating in the kitchen for lunch, opening chip bags, 
making sandwiches, cutting fruit, and playing loud music.
I stayed at the table and said a quiet, heartfelt prayer to God.
How could I make my days more constructive?  
How could I be kinder and more patient with my children?
I felt impressed to have a morning prayer with the Nies
to "open" our homeschool day, asking specifically to invite the
Spirit in our home and hearts as we study and work together.
We all need to feel more love, peace, and calm together
(especially me!), and I am so grateful for answers to prayers.
* * * * *
"When I pray with faith, I have the Savior as my advocate 
with the Father and I can feel that my prayer reaches heaven. 
Answers come. Blessings are received. 
There is peace and joy even in hard times."

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