Thursday, January 23, 2020

Dream Again


Yesterday the Nielson's stormed the dentist office.
All seven of us had a check-up and cleaning,
and Lottie unexpectedly had a tooth pulled.
Besides the tooth pulling, everyone had a clean bill of dental heath!
After the check-up we went out for ice cream
that I promised Lottie in a desperate plea
during her dramatic tooth extraction.
(And a small Lego set....I'm a sucker).

Later that evening Lottie went to bed a feeling a
 little uncomfortable, and so I gave her some Tylenol to help her sleep.
Then I snuggled in her bed next to her and told her about times
when I was in pain after the accident and 
 I would imagine myself
somewhere else--somewhere happy, and warm, and safe.
We talked about where that is for her (waterfalls are involved),
 and what it looks like (lots of baby horses running around),
and we even talked about how she'd get there (unicorn, of course).

After I came out of my coma I had to learn how to 
imagine, escape, and even how to breathe with purpose so I could cope.
Pain and depression were so powerful that I could physically
feel it dragging me into unknown scary places.

With lots of prayers to God I taught myself how to dream again.
I imagined places in my mind where I could
escape to, and where I would be free from pain and heartbreak.
And soon enough I was dreaming in beautiful colors again.
And then soon those dreams were realities;
a happy home, babies, setting tables, folding laundry,
putting on makeup, sweeping the floor, driving the carpool,
skiing, running, holding hands, reading books, making meals,
packing lunches, writing, dates out, talking to people, wearing high heels,
snuggling children, jumping on the trampoline, and on and on and on.
 I don't wake up sad anymore.

After a few minutes her little body felt heavy under 
the blankets and I knew she was asleep
in dreamland-- right where she should be.