This morning around 5:30, Angus woke me up with his high-pitched
constant squealing noises.
He needed to go out. I pulled on my robe and boots and walked down the
stairs in the cold kitchen just in time to see Mr. Nielson and the girls out
the door on their way into town for seminary.
Angus took his time outside hobbling around the yard smelling,
peeing, smelling, and peeing.
peeing, smelling, and peeing.
I sat on the front porch swing and smelled fall outside mixed with the
smoke from the kitchen fireplace.
I walked back inside picking our nearly 40 pound three month old puppy up
the dark stairs and into my bedroom. I lay him on the bed next to me and he
fell back to sleep- just like a baby.
I lay looking out the window as the early
morning light cast shadows outside my window.
morning light cast shadows outside my window.
Soon the sun would be up and everything would begin; mouths to feed,
loves to give, stories to tell, lessons to be taught, and messes cleaned up.
I decided to get up. I quietly changed into my running clothes,
and slipped out the door and down the stairs. I went into the laundry room
to start a load then made my way back into the kitchen where
I started cooking the soaking beans for dinner.
I started cooking the soaking beans for dinner.
I walked out the door and ran into the mesa behind the ranch house.
The sun was low on the horizon but giving enough light and heat to
keep me warm on the path.
Breakfast dishes piled up in the sink, Angus needed his medicine,
the wash needed to be switched, and I needed to begin school before the
morning got away from me.
As soon as Mr. Nielson came home from seminary with the girls, I kissed him
goodbye and he left to Utah for the rest of the week to
check up and finalize some things at Fox Hill.
goodbye and he left to Utah for the rest of the week to
check up and finalize some things at Fox Hill.
I swear I sat at the kitchen table with my children for five hours straight.
Since we are taking the day off on Friday (for Nicholas's birthday),
school went extra long today to make-up for what we'll be missing.
As soon as school was over, it was time to start dinner.
As soon as dinner was over, I read a chapter to the little Nies in our
spooky Halloween chapter book.
After the story was over, it was clean-up and showers.
After showers, it was pj's and prayers.
I found myself in the kids room waiting very impatiently as they
dinked around before getting into bed.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked messy. I was STILL in my
exercise clothes and my face looked old and tired. I was tired!
Finally I spoke up to the kids (after about 50 times):
"Goodbye, I am tired and dirty, I can't be nice anymore."
Then I walked out the door without the usual hugs and kisses and
promptly walked into mine.
After a much needed hot shower, I sat on my bed and scrolled
through the photos I took on my phone.
I had taken several photos throughout the day that showed a different light
than the inadequate feelings I had experienced moments earlier.
My run was a wonderful part of my day. I felt strong and capable.
I connected with my Heavenly Father.
I saw that I had taken a few fun photos of the children making
Egyptian arm bands with glitter tape and jewels.
I am making fun memories with my children and they enjoy
learning and understanding about the different cultures and people in the world.
Next I came to a photo of the Oliver, Nicholas, and Lottie jumping on
They love living on the ranch, they love each other, and by golly,
we are truly happy here.
we are truly happy here.
Later that night and during my prayers, I clearly felt God's love for me.
He was telling me that I was doing a good job and He was proud of my efforts.
That's all the validation I could ever need.
Also, I know that tomorrow is another day; fresh and clean,
and that always comes with the sun (Son).
and that always comes with the sun (Son).