Monday, March 05, 2012

Me and my shadow.

I went to my check-up today. 
All is well and Lil peanut growing strong!
I am excited to have this little darling! I was pretty nervous about delivery
I'm scared of pain!  And having a baby hurts!
But mostly I am nervous about being in the hospital again.
 For me, hospitals mean you are sick or hurt or both {in my case}. 
I love my nurses and doctors who cared for me (and still do), 
but being in the hospital for months in pain is the WORST! 
 So, thinking about going back there to deliver is drumming up some scary feelings and memories. 
I keep telling myself:
1. I am not sick. I am a woman having a baby. 
 It will be a natural delivery and nothing will go wrong. It just won't. 
 I am strong and capable and my Dr's. and the hospital will take care of anything
if there is a problem. 
 2. I GET something out of this. 
In previous hospital stays, I usually leave the hospital with bandages, 
new scars, stitches, physical therapy contraptions,
 and /or millions of supplies for my new wounds. 
This time, I get a real-life baby!!!!  A baby girl even! 
3. Healing for this kind of procedure will be a breeze. 
I will, however, be back in the OR with Dr. J a few weeks to
 fix my burned stomach skin, but it won't be bad, right?
So all in all, I am a VERY blessed woman with something incredible to look forward to. 
 I also feel blessed that I am here in my life and not here, or here
 Reading those posts makes me sad.
 Just a reminder to everyone who is struggling. It gets better. It will! 
 Hang in there.