Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Pinkie, Adieu!

The night before my pinkie amputation
we had a goodbye pinkie party in Lindsay's kitchen.
We drank sparkling apple juice in fancy glasses, 
listened to music about goodbyes,
 and we shared good memories about my amazing finger.
It was a great way to bid adieu to a courageous member of my body,
she had served her purpose, and it was ok to say goodbye.
(Right Deb!?)
Last Sunday a few days after the surgery, 
Mr. Nielson changed the bandage on my left hand while I tearfully looked on.  
With the Little Nies around me on the bed we all braced for change.
Mr. Nielson didn't take down the whole dressing,
 but unraveled enough for us to see the dramatic difference in my hand.
We all quietly shed a few tears (especially me), and Oliver tearfully 
rubbed my back and periodically kissed my cheek
 to tell me he loved me no matter what.
Early this morning Mr. Nielson and I drove
back to the Mayo Clinic where Dr. L took down the bandages and
 inspected the wound site.  
This time all of the bandages came off and the site cleaned (ouch!).
With dried blood and thick blue stitches holding skin together, 
it was really hard to look at, 
and all I could think about was that my hand resembled the hand of a
 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
I hope at some point I feel comfortable letting my hand free 
without having to feel like I have to cover it up to
feel accepted around other people.
I suspect just like my face, legs, and arms, I will get there.
These things do take time, and I am allowing myself that.
Lucy sent me photos of her favorite cartoon characters who only have 4 fingers
which to be honest, perked me right up (Minnie Mouse).
Jane told me about a few "missing finger" clubs she knows of.
(I think I should join).
Also Spencer brought home a 600 gallon carton of my favorite 
bubble gum ice cream and so tonight, somehow...I feel better.

(Pinkie post here)

Tuesday, May 22, 2018


Last night Lindsay made us the most delicious dinner of
 grilled vegetables, fresh fruit, and her homemade glorious rolls.  
As the sun set we dined outside in the (surprisingly) cooler-ish AZ weather.
We ate in the front yard under a large pine tree- 
it was quite the the cozy sight.
But I felt pretty gross.
The best word to describe myself would be "blobby"-
 you know that feeling?  
I just kinda sit around with no personality or opinions holding
my slinged hand close to my chest for comfort.
Lindsay braided my hair so I wouldn't get hair in my food.
What a true friend.
I know it wont last forever, but I sure feel like a stick in the mud.
Lindsay has been such a dear friend not only taking care of me, 
but making sure my children are happy, well fed, and taken care of.  

Last week she arranged a very darling boy to take Claire out.  
Of course I wasn't able to see her off, but I made Jane secretly film
 him picking her up.  
Mr. Nielson asked the usual questions: How late will you be out? 
and "What are your plans".  
(They went bowling and she came home around 11:00).
She had a good time.
I have a follow up appointment wit Dr. L tomorrow.  
I am very very very nervous to see my hand without pinkie-
so are my kids.  Change is hard.

Monday, May 21, 2018

A healthy future

I am home now from surgery,
Left pinkie is successfully amputated.
I am in considerable pain and typing isn't helping.
So, a quick thank you (so much) for your prayers and well wishes!!
And a big thank you to:
Claire, for helping me change in and out of my clothes each day.
Jane, for rubbing lotion on my body and watching BBC documentaries with me.
Oliver, for holding my braids back while I throw up.
Nicholas, for escorting me in and out of bed and to and from the bathroom.'
Charlotte, for "reading" me stories from Lindsay's  Roald Dahl collection.
Lindsay, for concocting me special drinks that magically show
 up on my nightstand when I wake up from naps.
Mr. Nielson, for everything, but especially for setting your timer
 to feed me pills at all hours of the day and night so I stay ahead of my pain.
The Mayo Clinic/staff, for treating me more like I was at a spa than a hospital.
And finally, Dr. Letteri, for giving me a healthy future.