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(Lottie, '12.  I do make the cutest babies)

 The cat is out of the bag! 

I'm pregnant 13 weeks tomorrow!!

It's happening, it's real!!!

And it's the biggest shock of my life!!!!

I've been posting about it along the way.

You can go back and read about it. I've posted everything now. 

I hadn't published my posts until I was out of the woods

(I had a miscarriage after Lottie)

 and knew the baby's sex (GIRL!). 

So, go back and read.

Starting Here

(Also, enjoy Claire's wedding photos!)

Thank You, Katherine

 This morning, Christian and I went to the Main WakeMed hospital

OBED in Raleigh and admitted because they have some magical nurses 

who can obtain blood from unusual, complex cases — like mine.

Blood draw is taken per regular prenatal testing (including gender!),

I am the worst blood draw case ever.

While I was there, the vascular team came to my room and checked my skin

for my PICC line, which will be inserted around 36 weeks.

Katherine was my nurse, and in all my blood-drawing experiences

was hands-down the best one ever.

She was gentle, quick, and just so lovely, too.

I left the hospital feeling really uplifted!

Thank you, Katherine.

I'll be requesting her for my repeat blood draw at 23 weeks.

I've been reflecting a lot about this baby and all the change that

is coming along with it.  It's often been a little

bit unsettling and overwhelming.

But today in our Come, Follow Me reading, 

I read this from amazing Sister Virginia H. Pierce 

"Even though we may not see, minute to minute, that we are moving 

forward and making progress, I believe we will be able to one day look back

 at our lives and see that we were, in fact, doing just what we needed to be 

doing at just the right time in just the right place. We can trust that the

 Lord will work in and through us. Mormon expressed it beautifully: 

“And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth 

all things which are to come; 

wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.”

Like Mormon, I do not know all things, but I do know that the 

Lord works in faithful, prayerful people to do according to his will. 

I know that by small and simple means are great things brought to pass."

This perspective today has changed me.

I am so thankful for prayer, for hope, for faith,

The Book of Mormon, and for miracles!

I Should Be In These Photos

 I have been looking forward to this weekend 

since Barre3 Chatham Park opened last month.

Aubrey, my master trainer from the Barre3 Home Office, 

was coming to spend time with me and my B3 team.  

With training and workshops for all of us, it will be helpful and enlightening! 

I was especially looking forward to it because 

Aubrey guided me through all my training and certification.

But today I woke up feeling so sick.

I wasn't able to keep anything down, but still determined to NOT miss

this much-anticipated training, I got myself up and into the studio.

BIG MISTAKE.

I couldn't keep anything down.

I believe the studio has a smell that is imprinted in my soul, 

and it automatically makes me feel nauseous. It's truly awful.

I sat in the office while Aubrey, Jane, Christian, and I went over

policies and procedures, and all things Barre3.

First, I tried plugging my nose inconspicuously,

then I unbuttoned the top button of my jeans.

Then I excused myself and threw up in the bathroom, then 

I peed my pants all in the Barre3 bathroom and all at the same time.

I was miserable. SO miserable.

I can't stress how horrible this timing is.

Tomorrow is our instruction training.  I don't think I'll be able to go.

Some leader I am.

How Did This Happen?

 

Dear Husband,

Thank you for being so good to me while I feel like crap.

Thank you for taking care of me because apparently, I can't do it myself.

Thank you for putting me first, even though I know you have

100 million other things to do.

I love you!

PS. Let's talk about how I got pregnant 

because it's genuinely a mystery.

Oh, Hello There!

Oh, hello, there, baby Nielson #6!

We don't know yet if you are a Nielson boy 

or a Nielson girl, but something inside me thinks you are 

a Nielson boy.

After my ultrasound, Christian and I met with the OBGYN director 

at WakeMed Hospital to create a plan for my birth and delivery.

We talked about all my challenges and restrictions.

I'm concerned about my legs and my recent case of cellulitis.

I'm worried about the baby stretching adequately with my "new stomach".

I'm worried about my age (44), and what this means for baby

and for me.

I'm worried about my veins (or lack thereof).

Dr. B. was excellent and very thorough. 

I feel very safe and secure with this new team.

I can't believe this is happening!

I Wish For Autumn

Is it bad to wish for Autumn?

Because I do.

Mostly because it means I could possibly be feeling better

since I'll be that much further along in my pregnancy.

This morning reminded me of a fall morning on Stillestead.

The way the fog hovered about the trees, and the yellow grass.

I'm really looking forward to that.

Tomorrow I get my first official ultrasound, even though I've

already had a few:

1. When I found out I was pregnant at 8 weeks

2. In the ER last week to be sure the baby was OK.

 

RIP Bruce, Beasley & Winnie

 Over the weekend we had more bad weather, and this evening 

Three of our cows, Bruce, Beasley, and Winnie, died; 

we suspect they were hit by lightning.  

The way they landed was so unnatural and out of the ordinary.  

We're so sad.  This is the hardest part of having animals on a farm.  

The reality is, they die.

The Worst Of All Ideas

 

We finally got around to taking down the tables and Chairs from Claire's wedding.

If it were up to me, they'd have been down the night of the event, 

but since I'm not myself lately, it happens when it happens.

Tonight, we had a crazy storm with lightning that lit up the entire sky

 and the loudest thunder I've ever heard.

It was cozy.

I sat on the porch and enjoyed the breeze, but felt queasy

 and went back inside to lie down.

There is nothing that soothes my tummy or relaxes me.

Everything just sucks.

I've decided that being pregnant and sick is kind of lonely, 

especially if no one living with you has been pregnant before. 

No one else knows just how weird and horrible and sick and exhausting and nauseating it is.  

I feel so crazy half the time, especially when I yell at my boys because 

they decide that making a steak in a frying pan with garlic and other

pungent, terrible, pregnant flavors/smells at midnight in the kitchen

 is a good idea.

WRONG, IT'S THE WORST IDEA YOU COULD EVER HAVE.

Slupree

 

I got an early morning text from Christian with an image

of our newest Homestead Beef baby.

Welcome Slurpee! (In honor of 7/11)

I found myself actually jealous of this mama cow.

She HAD her baby!

(Except her udders look absolutely miserable!)

I Can Do It

 

Unfortunately, it happened.

I found myself in the ER with dehydration issues.

On top of that, they were unable to find IV access since

I have so much scar tissue on my arms.

I opted for a nice shot of anti-nausea & b-something-or-other-vitamins

to help reset my sickness.

It worked.

On the way home from the hospital, I got Mexican food

and ate most of it.

I've got to start drinking and eating more.

 Jane and Christian are both determined to have

 something in my stomach every two hours.

They take shifts in prepping food and reminding me to eat.

It's so hard, and I have to force myself to survive.

This is the worst.

The hard part is that I didn't "plan" on baby Nielson #6, and 

everything seems so abrupt and unplanned.

I feel so caught off guard and vulnerable.

I'm working through this.

I know it won't last forever.

I can do it.

I can do it.

I can do it!

Incoming From The Love Birds

I was very excited today when I received a text from 

Claire with photos of her honeymoon in Maine.

She looks like she is having THE BEST, most magical time.

They deserve it!

Looking at Claire's photos was a nice distraction from my woes.

Perks

 

Literally, what would I do without Jane?

She nourishes me because if it were up to me

I'd waste away in my bedroom, throwing up because 

for some reason, when I'm pregnant, I forget how to be 

a responsible human.

Everything is tossed out, and I'm left in survival mode.

Jane has made delicious, nutritious, protein-packed meals and food 

for me daily.

Seriously, what would I do without her?!?!

Perk of having a baby with adult children.

They take care of you.

Small Steps

 I'm sick again.

Just like that, back in bed and barfing.

But, wow, what a miracle to have felt good enough

to be present during Claire's wedding weekend!

Praise the Lord!

The only thing I got out of bed for was when Oliver 

needed the shampoo for Angus's bath.

I plugged my nose the whole way, but I did it.

Small steps here for me.

Small steps.

Claire Gets Married

 Today was everything.

Claire and Nate were sealed together in the Raleigh, North Carolina, temple.

It was just absolutely beautiful.

I woke up around 6:30 a.m. to the girls —all of them in Jane's bed.

As I was getting everyone up and ready 

(and playing the soundtrack to Father of the Bride on full blast)

I found Claire had slipped out of bed and into my bed

to snuggle, for the last time, as Claire Nielson with her dad.

I choked up.

I bought my dress months in advance.

It was blue to match everyone else, but when 

I went to put it on this morning, and I almost died.

I'm not showing per se, but I HATE anything tight on my tummy.

I can't explain it, but it makes me so sick, so I had

to find something else in my closet, and I found a blue-ish skirt,

but the top didn't match, and it was just horrible.

I told Claire as we were walking into the temple 

(with my zipper halfway up)

that we'd laugh at this one day.

Today, though, I wanted to cry.

Lots of emotions.

The ceremony was beautiful.  Claire requested

President Herb Counsel to marry them.

He was in the stake presidency when we moved to North Carolina

and was such a pillar to our family.

He is an incredible man, and his testimony of the Savior

 conveyed a beautiful message of love, respect, 

as he sealed Nate and Claire.

Then Claire and Nate drove away to their little cabin

on a secluded lake in Maine for their honeymoon.

Sounds perfect to me.

We did it. 

Done.

Claire is married.

Wow.

Claire is married, and I am pregnant.

I went home and took a four-hour nap.

* I can't wait to post Justin's photos!

Claire's Wedding Dinner

I experienced a miracle today.  I woke up with minimal nausea.  

I've actually not felt this good since I got pregnant over 8 weeks ago. 

Earlier, I had pleaded with Heavenly Father to bless me

to feel well, so I could

set up Claire's wedding as we had planned months ago, 

and enjoy it.  I really wanted to be present for it, and not just 

wander around in the "pregnancy haze".

You know what I mean?

I wanted to be able to do the decorating, 

designing, and putting everything together. 

And today, I felt good and had energy.  It was truly a gift from God.

Jenna, our florist, came all the way from Georgia to do Claire's flowers.

She did a beautiful, breathtaking, magical job!

We picked up Claire's cake from the bakery and drove home at 20 mph under the

speed limit, the cake made it home in one piece. 

At home, we started setting everything up, including putting together

the fruit platters.  Jane is a master and did all of that.

It was fun working side-by-side with my girls for this wonderful occasion.

It was a beautiful evening with perfect weather!  

We ate dinner, mingled with friends, and had a darling little program 

where each sibling of Claire & Nate shared a little tribute.

Jane expressed her love for Claire and gave her a beautiful portrait 

of two herons (Claire's spirit animal).  Jane's friend, Hannah, painted it for her. 

It was a beautiful tribute.

Oliver gave Claire a DoorDash gift card and shared a little story about 

when they used to deliver for DoorDash together during COVID.

Gigs gave Claire a pack of wet wipes and a super adorable photo 

of the two of them when they were younger.  Claire used to wipe Gigs after 

he'd go to the bathroom when I couldn't.  Great memories!  

Lottie was very emotional as she shared her tribute to her oldest and biggest sister.  

She gave Claire a T-shirt (she had a matching one) and a 

Woody doll, since she often refers to Nate as Woody.  

(They kinda do look similar!)

Then Nate's family did the same for him. 

Claire and Nate cut the beautiful vintage-inspired cake, and in true

Brazilian tradition gave the first piece to the person they 

love the most.  They gave it to little 5-year-old Henry.

Then the boys disappeared to the field behind the house to light up 

the sky with some pretty incredible fireworks.  

It was the perfect way to end the dinner.

After everyone had gone home, our little family just sat around 

listening to music while the candles dripped down to stubs. 

 It will be my favorite memory of this whole marriage, I'm sure. 

 It was just perfect and magical, and it was just my

children (and future son-in-law).  

I'll never forget it.

Another I'll never forget is that Justin Hackworth flew from Utah to be with us. 

 It was only fitting that he be here for this beautiful event.  

He's photographed some of the most epic moments of our family's life.

I can't wait to post some of his photographs.  

They will have really captured the essence of the evening

including Claire's bridal photographs.

I never, never EVER NEVER thought in a million years that I'd

be pregnant at Claire's wedding.

I mean, come on!

I feel like Father of the Bride Part 2 over here!

Goodnight & Happy 4th of July!