Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The Birds and the Bees

(Oliver and Mr. Nielson together on frozen Utah Lake)
Last night, Mr.Nielson and I sat with Oliver;
It was his turn to hear "the talk".
We talked about sex, relationships, and the changes in his little body.
When Claire and Jane turned 10, they also had this talk with 
us- on our bench at the foot of our bed.
As we talked about how babies were made and
body parts and all that jazz,  
Ollie sat in-between us quietly with a toy motorcycle in his hands. 
 I couldn't help feel reluctant as we talked appropriately
 about these delicate subjects. He seemed too young to know this stuff.
(Ollie and Lottie after church)

But, I have realized that we as parents are in competition 
with the world about who gets to tell our children first about sex. 
 I am serious about winning.  This is my responsibility, thank you very much.

Mr. Nielson and I expressed our desire that Oliver acquire traits of courtesy, 
honesty, fidelity, good humor, (as opposed to crude language and jokes about sex that 
most the time happen at school),
and spiritual integrity as he develops and grows.
Our desire and hope is that he will respect this sacred understanding
 and respect his own body after hearing us;
his parents, who love and care for his happiness and success
more than anyone else on this planet.

As we talked to Ollie about intimacy, we made it clear to him that sex is good
 when done within a marriage relationship,
I think that is really important for kids to know.  
Sex isn't bad or evil or dirty- its the opposite- but it's all about timing.

I believe that in some ways, the example we set in our marriage
 and relationship is more important than
 that of us teaching and discussing this delicate subject to our children.
I believe when Oliver (and all the Little Nies) see Mr. Nielson and I 
interact one with another in a beautiful, loving, caring, and selfless way,
hopefully they will be influenced to gravitate to a normal and 
healthy relationship and marriage, as partners together.
Sex is so much more than bodies.  It's also about 
responsibility, pure love, charity, dedication, cleanliness, and family.

And that is how we talked to Oliver about the "birds and the bees".