Thursday, February 27, 2014

A changed woman


This afternoon after I put Lottie down for her nap, I decided to work on my family silhouettes.
I have kind of felt haunted by my pre-accident silhouette still in its frame.
As I looked at my old silhouette, I kept referring to myself as "she".
She looked so calm and care-free.  She looked so put-together and pretty.
She looks so young and unscathed.
My new silhouette is much different.  A totally different profile.
Completely different nose and chin replaces her perfect ones.
There was a time a few years ago when I was so disgusted by my face.
I hated my new profile and wouldn't even consider making a new silhouette.
But, I have changed.
I feel different about that now.  I see a different face now.
She is finally me,  And I have the face of a survivor 
and I am grateful that I can see it.
I may not have that beautiful or perfect face with lovely delicate features,
 but it is my face, and with this face 
I can speak words to my children.
I can speak to my God who created me and sustains me.  
I can kiss my supportive husband.  
With these eyes I can see the sun rise and the seasons change.
With this new nose I can breathe in fresh air and smell rain, 
and flowers, and wet puppies.
I may look different, but I am the same.

And, maybe even with more gratitude in my heart.