Friday, November 15, 2013

Come home soon MOM

Today I was going through the books in our basement in attempt to 
make room for other books we have collected over the years.
 A lot of these books I haven't seen since they
 were packed in Arizona after the accident, {while I was still in a coma}.
The books were then unpacked and put away here 
in my Utah home by wonderful family
and friends while I was still recovering and in the hospital.
As I was sifting through books I came across a journal.
It was Claire's journal in 2008- after the accident.
She had written little notes to Aunt Courtney and Uncle Christopher,
and little notes for Claire from aunts and cousins lined the pages too.
 Most of them were inspiring and uplifting love notes, 
some drawings and a few jokes.
At the end of the book, Claire drew a picture of me in my 
compression garments, green hospital socks, short hair
with burns all over my face.  

 She also drew my eyelashes thick and healthy, and I am at least smiling.  
My black burned fingernails under my compression burn gloves
are all great details she observed as a little seven year old
 who was probably so overwhelmed with everything going on.
"I hope you come home soon MOM".
She wrote on the bottom of her drawing.
My heart sunk a little.  Truth is, it made me a little sad.
Sad because this actually happened- reality hit me again.
The accident was real and she was a witness to it.  
She saw how sick I was and how so physically 
different I had become in the hospital. 
 At that time, I felt like I was treading water and couldn't. 
 I felt like I was sinking in depression and despair.
But as I looked at the photo, I also felt comforted and peaceful.  
I know how the story ends (or that chapter anyway), and we won.
We fought hard.  I fought hard for my children.  
I pushed through doubts, pain, grief, pity,
and lots of pain.  But together as a family and God always close, we made it.
I went through that, those days were so very hard.  But we did it.  
With so much help from everyone, we did it! 
I brought the book upstairs to show Claire,  
she smiled at me and shrugged her shoulders.  
We didn't talk about it, I think we both knew what we both felt, 
and that was good enough.

 Happy weekend to you!
* * * 
Other things to note:
Tonight Mr. Nielson and I are speaking Sandy, Utah 
We are scheduled to speak at the end of the meetings around 8:30 pm.
* * *
And, I am in love with the infinity necklace by The Vintage Pearl.
I love the infinity sign- no beginning, no ending, plus it's shaped as a "8".  
Mr. Nielson and I are both the eights in our family, so it's double adorable.

* * *
Hey UTAH!  Come run in this amazing run which will
benefit amputees! 
Spiritual Enlightenment:
Education has been an important emphasis in 
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints