Friday, June 14, 2013

Fridays, Fingers, and Fathers

Last week while in Arizona I visited sweet Dr. A. Smith
at the prestigious Mayo Clinic in Phoenix.
The reason: my hands.
Particularly my left hand.
My hands were so burned in the accident that there really was no skin to hold
them together and my best friend Lindsay said when she would visit me
at the burn center, she would watch dressing changes on my hands and they
had no skin on them.
 Lindsay thinks stuff like that is "fascinating" so she didn't faint
or anything like that.  That's why I love her.
Anyway, because I was in a coma, I couldn't move my hands and my ligaments were
so burned that it caused everything to stiffen up.
Now I can't bend them- not one finger.
I have learned to adapt.  I can zip, button, pull, vacuum, tie shoes, rub backs,
put make-up on, cook dinner and change diapers.
I am so grateful.
 I can do anything.  It's just hard and painful.
My left pinkie was hit the worse.
Doc said I broke in the initial accident and then through the coma,
physical therapy, and surgeries the pinkie fused together causing this:

It feels like I have a headache in my hands.

Dr. Smith said amputation is best.
I held it together, but then cried.
I cried because it is a part of me, and I am not excited to cut it off.
Its been with me through so much.
There really is no good choice here.  Both are horrible:
Keep = pain
Cut = no pain, but no finger.
I haven't scheduled surgery yet.  
Partially because I don't want to have my finger cut off, but I also
don't want to be back in a hospital and out of commission.
It's hard on me and hard on my family {Jane}
In the big scheme of things, its just a pinkie- it could
have been my legs or arms or nose.
I'll take a pinkie and smile because it's my war wound.  
Just like everything else on my body it tells a tale of survival and
I can just hear the jokes I will get from my brothers now....
* * * * * *
Have a great weekend!
Spiritual Enlightenment: