Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Laguna Beach Day 2

As I write today's post I am again sitting on the porch that 
overlooks the amazing ocean. 
The children's swimming suits are drying on the porch chairs around me.
My stomach is sore and I missed dinner.  Food sounds gross.  
I feel discouraged and tired of not feeling quite up to "snuff"
 (what does snuff even mean? Sounds like drugs).
Mr. Nielson took the children to the beach today and 
they were brave enough to actually get wet and swim in the chilly water. 
 I stayed home and lay on my bed.
Lately, my favorite time of the day is after the children 
are all settled in bed and I lay next to Mr. Nielson in the dark.
He is always so warm and I feel better being close to him.  
He is so so good to me.  
 Sometimes as we lay in the dark, and
I cry to him or sometimes we 
quote our favorite movies, and sometimes we do both.
Next week the two of us are headed to Europe.  I MUST feel better!!! 
When we get home from California in a few days, 
I am going to head back to my good doctors and do some more tests. 
 That, or get some serious pain medication to help block this pain.
I am stressing out because I don't have IV access to even do those tests.
Everyone tries to find a vein, and everyone fails.
I have too much scar tissue.
No one can get access, and I end up being a pin cushion and crying like a baby.
I am considering getting a permanent picc line put in my chest.

Today Aunt Darin (Christian's brother Peter's wife) 
is taking the children to Disneyland. 
I don't think my body can walk
 or sit in a teacup spinning around and thus,
 spinning my stomach to smithereens.
 But Aunt Darin is just as fun and they are over the top excited.  
I am so thankful for family who is supportive and helpful.
Have a great Tuesdee!