Friday, July 09, 2010

3 requests

(Ollie and the children inspect my scars)

The day I returned from the hospital last month,
the only few things I really really wanted to do were:

1. Sleep with Mr. Nielson
2. Hold my babies
3. Shower

Everything else could take a back-seat to those priorities.
I took a long shower so long in fact, that all the kids and Mr. Nielson checked on me multiple times making sure I was still alive.
The steam spread out the top of the curtain and I soaked and sat and washed and thought.
It was very wonderful. It was like 29 days worth of "hospital-ness" all over me gone.

When I finally emerged from the shower, my bed was made and a "Welcome home Mom" banner was laid on my out along with a fresh pair of clothes.
This was way better than the hospital.
I changed and took my meds and called my children in to my room.
They looked me over from head to toe examining my new scars, wounds, and stitches.

I held them close and then I began smelling them, holding their hands, and clipping nails-I felt like a Mama monkey picking bugs from her offspring's head.

Mr. Nielson snapped a few shots of our "homecoming".

Last time I went away from the children I never came back...well for almost 4 months anyway. I could sense Jane's observing eyes glaring me over.
She took the accident the worst.
When it was time to finally visit me at the hospital that December of '08, she didn't recognize me and wouldn't' look at me. That went on for nearly 3 more months after the accident. It was heartbreaking.
This time she seemed more calm about everything.
I felt more confidant too.

Mr. Nielson and I put the children to bed and slide in our own bed together.
We lay next to one another touching and rubbing our feet together.
I had accomplished a great feat in my recovery, and it was over.
No more sad goodbyes, or never-comings-back. No more.

(well, at least until January when my next procedure will take place,
but the kiddos don't know that yet).