Monday, April 12, 2010

Blowing in the wind.


I couldn't sleep a wink again last night. Must have something to do with my monkey tail literally hanging by a thread, my upcoming surgeries, and my garden
filled with nothing but dirt.
****
Some day's I get so uptight and worried.
But I am reminded that this was my choice, to stay on Earth, to taste the good from the bad and all that comes with it.
It is now 10:00 a.m, the wind is blowing-and ironically I think it blowing my worries away with it. I know I can overcome it.
****
Yesterday I was talking with my girls about how the nurses had to put diapers on me because I couldn't walk to use the bathroom myself. The girls seemed disgusted and embarrassed. I told them about several times I had experienced while wearing diapers
(which I 'll spare you the details. I just know one thing-nurses are HERO'S).
Then Jane said to me;
"Mom, you don't have to do that again, aren't ya glad"
I am SO glad that part is over. I truly have come pretty far and I can feel it.
I walked to my parents house alone last night. I needed to get out to think, besides our house smelled of fish from dinner and making me a little sickie.
I visited with my Dad and in tears explained my worries. He told me to take one day at a time. Such simple advice, yet so strong and true. My brother Andrew showed up shortly after.
He was out of dog food and came looking for some from my Mom's dog Nan.
He hugged me and told me he and his family prayed for me every night.
I should sleep well tonight knowing my life is in control.
And by talking one day at a time, I know I will thrive.
****
And, I am still standing as the wind around me blows.