Monday, February 22, 2010

Alive


I feel like I have been through a washing machine.
I woke up, and just like that "Hunchie" was gone.
All those long sleepless nights, uncomfortable moments, and awkward dressing, all gone.
Mr. Nielson lay over me when I woke up.
His sweet low voice was very soothing. I asked what happened and he said I had an infection surrounding the expander's. They had to abort the plans.
I cried.
and
cried.
I have to do this again. I have to go in for weekly appointments with Dr. L. and have hunchie blown up-all again!
Disappointment and discouragement sunk in as I wept.
Then I wiped my eyes, and said-
"Lets do it again, lets try it again, I am not giving up"

My whole life depends on this. I want to be the mother, woman, and wife I dream about, and this will help. I want this more than anything, and nearly bleeding out on the surgery table is all part of the deal.

Mr. Nielson said I have 9 lives, and I have used up 4. Then I asked if talking to one of God's apostles counted as extra lives. He said maybe.

(Leigh with the stuff that makes my toes look like sausages)

And soon enough, I had found myself a good week in the Arizona Burn Center.
The best place in the hospital! Defiantly the best nurses (kristin,katie,tom,rachel,amber,kelly,chris,deb,connie,leigh--everyone...all of you) and Dr.'s a girl could ask for. Seriously!
Dr J. would check on me sometimes twice a day to make sure I was OK. We would watch the Olympics, and chat, then he was off to save another person's life.

Then one day he brought in some Jo-Jo's from Mrs. J and we ate them and talked about surgery and how he like the Bachelor.

(my life-saver)
One day I had some visitors-administrators of the hospital. They gave me thin mint girl scout cookies. I had toothpaste dripping down on my gown. I was shower-free for a good 5 days too.
I wanted to die (but not really)
Plus, I had have my fair share of Regis and Kelly and the Ellen show. I hate daytime TV...unless I am a guest, of course.
And I watched the mighty Olympians battle it out.
Favorite part was when Lindsay Vohn won and was searching for her husband. They hugged and it was so special. Then I told Mr. Nielson I felt bad for watching and listening to them celebrate. It seemed it should have been a special and private moment. But still the best.
Oh, and once Mr. Nielson and I were watching the couple skating and I was so into it, my heart rate was off the charts and I yelled when my favorite couple crashed, and then the burn unit came running into my room to see what had happened.
Then they were mad at me and told me to turn off the TV.

I am home now. First thing I did was shower. Mr. Nielson helped me, and we decided we were going to make up for Valentines Day once I feel good. Can't wait!