(nicholas on his birth-day. 10.06.06)
Today is another gloomy day.
But, I like it.
I just sent the girls off to school.
They were dreading going back after a delightful little fall holiday.
And yet so excited to be back with friends and for Claire- the monkey bars.
Yesterday I drove past the hospital just in time to see a young mother and her new baby in a wheelchair being pushed to their car by a very happy husband.
It was very endearing and yet so sad.
I want one.
And then I remembered the day when I was in a wheelchair being pushed from the hospital to my car by my very eager husband.
Except all I had in my arms were bandages.
And I felt like a new baby.
Mr. Nielson had a grin bigger than a watermelon slice.
He was bringing his wife home.
Back home where he was going to be the mother more than a husband.
Late nights and crying would be his new life for awhile.
I felt like a new baby going home and a new mother at the same time.
Driving home the next hour was awful. Just like a new mother, I was scared the car would collide with another with her new "precious treasure" in the backseat. Just like a baby, bald and unsure I was scared the car would crash and I couldn't help myself out.
And scared of my new life ahead.
That day last January was so wonderful and horrible at the same time.
But, I know that someday if God allows, I will be in that wheelchair again with a warm baby next to my chest and my husband smiling from ear to ear with our new addition.
And I can hold those thoughts close to my heart.
This time, we will leave the hospital with a baby- not scars.
(nicholas just hours old, 10.06.06)