Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Tonight after the scrumptious dinner Mr. Nielson cooked, I lay my tired bones on the couch.
I was had. I had been going all day it seemed like (but not really, it just felt that way) so Mr. Nielson put on my old running mix on the ipod to listen too as my pain meds kicked in. It was kind of sad to hear it and associate my healthy, happy body with the mix.

It was pumping me up for running again someday not too far off, I hope?

My children were all spread out in the family room reading books, making airplane noises and laughing. It was a delight. Usually after dinner I am the one cleaning up and missing out on my children being content with full bellies and happy hearts after a full day of playing.

I suggest every mother relish that time...dishes can wait-seriously.

Jane jumped on the couch next to me and began talking. That chickie has a mouth. Woah! She talks and talks and talks. I love it, but sometimes its so fast I can't even understand her. (I feel for you Dad, I know what you mean about her) She was describing the big thing she wanted to do with me tomorrow.
"Painting, no coloring, no wait you have glitter we have to have glitter all different colors and popsicle sticks and those fuzzy things that make those cool things on the butterfly heads..."
I didn't mean to, but I tuned her out for a few minutes because there out my window was Mr. Nielson. He was in his white shirt and jeans watering the flowers. He stood on the front porch, behind him dark thunder clouds gathering and the wind ever so slightly blowing his blonde hair. I had complete and utter love for that man. Partly lustful too. (I can say that) My heart swelled big and I couldn't take my eyes off him. Ohhh how I love him! How I need him!

My mind wandered to the crash. Mr. Nielson saved my life. He opened the airplane door which was on fire, cleared a path for me breaking his toe and his back. It was heroic and knightly. He was motivated by love. He found his way to safety and looked back only to realize I was not following. His heart sank. He ran around to the other side of the plane just in time for it to go up in flames. He yelled and screamed my name over and over and I his...we just couldn't get to each other.

I did get out and followed his path.

My love for him is not of this world. It can't be broken by anything, not by and worldly ideas of what love is. Not by death. Nothing. Love is Godly, God is love. And we are his children. Our bond will carry us to the eternities and beyond. It's not cheesy, it's truth.

Mr. Nielson just happened to turn to the window and give his trademark smile to me on the couch. I think he knew I was thinking of him.

And Jane still continued to talk to me about making a picture of the day and one of the night. Then she asked what I was going to color and I told her: