Thursday, May 21, 2009

I had wings

Last night was a doozy. The night before that was too. I lay awake not being able to close my eyes.
T h i n k i n g...a lot.
But last night in a frustrating rage I got up, and sat on my couch. My knees don't bend well, but I was sure that if I just knelt down and prayed I would sleep. I meant business to the Lord. I awkwardly lowered my body down and prayed in silence. My knees ached and I only felt a numb blunt feeling. But I prayed, I prayed hard.
The crickets sang loudly outside in the dark.
It's not fun to have insomnia. It's really not fun to have gotten in a plane crash either. Some moments are so dark for me that I want to scream with madness in my little heart.
OH! that little heart of mine. Mr. Nielson told me that It had failed twice while I was being life-flighted in a helicopter headed to my new home for 5 months. ( aka: the hospital.)
My heart wanted to live, to fight...and it did. So here I am. Alive and awake at 4:00 am.
I lay on my couch after I prayed and my mind calmed down. I imagined myself in a white flowing dress with wings. I checked on my babies all sleeping soundly. Claire and Jane nestled together in Jane's bed. Ollie and Gigs sprawled out in their bed. Of course my Mr. Nielson was licking his lips (as he does while he sleeps) so I knew he was comfortable. Good.
Then I unlatched the lock on my door and flew to Courtney's house. There I saw the chief in her arms in the nursery rocking chair. Both peacefully sleeping while Chup snored in the room next door.
I floated out and head past Mindy's house. She too slept soundly in the arms of her Mr.
Up the street I went past Marion and Don's flower cottage. They were snug in there covers so was Matt and Katy and the children in the house across the street.
I got to Mom and Dads on Fir Avenue but I didn't go inside. Instead I sat on the swing in the backyard that Mr. Nielson made last summer for my Dad's birthday. I started swinging higher and higher I went until I jumped off and soared in the house went upstairs then....
Ollie woke me up.
It was 7:00 am. I had slept some. Good for me.
Tonight I am going to imagine this again since it worked last time.
Where will I go tonight?
I'll tell you tomorrow.