Sunday, October 15, 2006

I'm a Queen!

My birth to Mr. Nicholas Jones Nielson
was very spiritual and personal.
But I would like to share a few of my favorite thoughts
about this incredible experience.

First of all, having
Christian at my side the whole time was so soothing. 
He was there when this beautiful child was created,
 so of course he was going to 
be there every second seeing our baby enter into the world. 
  I knew I could do anything with his brown eyes watching and reassuring me.
They were a guiding light as I pushed out our 9 pound son.

Christian was not just on the side-lines watching from a distance,
he was playing an active role by taking care of my every need.
He would encourage me and dispel my concerns and fear.
He also kept me fed ( feeding me fresh cantaloupe and berries),
and he kept me hydrated with plenty of water.

I believe births are spiritual occurrences- if we let it be so.
It's how we treat the experience that can make it so beautiful. 
I lay in my room with comforting music playing, and
 a yummy smelling calming candle flickering nearby.
The room was quite and peaceful, and I felt very safe.
I had prepared for this moment for months, and I was ready.
Occasionally between contractions,  I would wander outside to 
smell the air and feel the wind blow in my face-
which was a much needed distraction.

I know that people may think me crazy for choosing to have our
baby at home without medications.
I have done it both ways now, and appreciate all birth experiences.
They were all different and all right- for me.
This was hard, this took a lot of courage, and guts but I know
deep in my heart that my divine make-up allowed me to be brave and 
allowed me to do hard things.
Having a natural childbirth is not just for the brave, and
for me, having a baby helped me find a deep confidence 
I didn't even know I possessed.

YES it hurts, of course it hurts!!
 And of course I wanted to quit and give-up, 
but that's when my strong body took over and somehow
the pain and suffering was all worth it. 
In fact as I sit here and type this, I don't remember the pain which
is really funny since I seriously thought I was going to die
several times during the delivery.

When Nicholas came out my midwife placed him on my chest
 and Christian and I were quite emotional.
It had been a long, intense 14 hour day and we both were exhausted.
Nicholas lay peacefully in my arms looking up at the both of us.
 He blinked his charming eyes and then fell asleep.
We examined his chubby fingers, large head, broad shoulders, and mini toes. 
 I amazed to have such a powerful body in which I can create, carry, and deliver 
these darling little children into this world.

I felt like a queen!  I felt unstoppable and powerful.

Almost 5 years ago, Christian's sister Charity was 26
when she died of cancer. 
She died in this same house I brought life into.
We've felt a different peaceful feeling in the house today,
and I think it's because of that.