Friday, January 06, 2006

Dear Reachel....

Dear Reachel,

 Did you know that everyone here in the East has a godmother of some sorts? Yep that’s right, except us. I was thinking of who I wanted my kids Godmother to be, and I thought of YOU!  You have impeccable style and charm, and maybe you, could you-will you be our Godmother?
If you say yes, here are a few Godmother guidelines:

1. Godmothers come to all birthday parties, baptisms, and celebrations.  Sometimes they come over just to visit the “god-kids” and bring them gum or something fun like that.

2. Godmothers DON'T babysit--unless they want to. I bet you are relived about that! All they do is make sure that the “god-kids” are clothed and fed and that the mother (me) is doing a good job.

3. If I should become a drug-addict, then you would take care of the children.
If I die, then you will just hang out with them until family comes along, or something like that.

Now I am going to give you a short list of "code" Nielson words and what they mean, so when you come to pick up the kids for ice cream, then you will know.

"Creamy": is special diaper cream that my children often use. They use "creamy" when they have diaper rash or just plain bad wiping habits. “Creamy” comes in the form of desitin, or A&D cream.

Vickie: a “Vickie” is a girls private part.

Old MacDonald’s: Is the fast food joint ‘McDonald's’, and thanks to my dad the kids have been there before, but since it is a rare occurrence, they refer it to Old MacDonald’s simply because they never go there, and know the proper name.

Rockamole: Is actually guacamole.

Dancie dress: Is anything that twirls and is probably in the dress-up pile.

Pony Movie: is not "My Little Pony" as you would think.  It's actually a short little cartoon on Disney's Fantasia.  The bad news is, it is in the middle of the VHS version we have, so you will have to rewind it then probably fast forward it and all that jazz for like 20 minutes to find it.
Once you find it you will have rewind it about 50 times after and listen to them fight over who gets to be the prettiest pony on the movie.  Good luck.

Miscellaneous:
Your god-kids prefer almond butter to peanut butter.
They only drink soy milk, and don't eat meat.
Oh, and also when you put them to bed, you have to say:
“Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite”, then immediately after that you have to say,
“Trick or treat, smell my feet gimme something good to eat. If you don’t I don’t care, I’ll pull down your underwear.”
Then right after that, they will yell  “pull down your underwear?  
Nooooooo, go get some underwear." Then you will say:
"Oh that is much better than pulling down your underwear".
Then they will laugh more again and fall off to dreamland.

Good Luck Reachel, (if you choose to accept), your new god children are
really perfect lil angles.
I would really like this to be formal, and will set up a time with you when we can discuss the ceremony of announcement that you are the official Nielson Godmother!!

(See how cool Reachel is and visit her website,
but you can't ask her to be YOUR children's God mother, I already asked!)