Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Jersey is NUTS!

I took the children to our local Costco this afternoon to pick up a few provisions (you know like, avocados, soy milk, a huge slab of fresh mozzarella, and diapers). As we walked the isles the girls of course spotted a sample booth full of special brown cookies. I knew there was no way getting around it, we’d pass by grab a treat and move on.
The cart made its way to the booth where a lady began putting the cookies into small paper cupcake holders. I sighed and said
“OK, girls just one”
Right then, the lady looked at me then the girls, then back at me and to the girls then grabbed the tray, which held the cookies. Holding the tray high above her head she barked:
“No, no, they can’t grab their own cookies, no, no, no”
(Just before she could lift up the tray Claire successfully snatched two cupcake holders filled with a precious cookie.)
“Oh, they are OK”
I said back with my unique tolerance that I have developed since moving to Jersey.
“No, No they are NOT 14, they have to be 14 to have peanut butter, there is peanut butter in these cookies!”
She stood holding the tray close to her chest like a 1 million dollar check.
Defensively, (another tolerance I have since developed) I looked at her with shock
“You mean, they can’t have these cookies?”
“Yes, they are only for children over 14” she said still clutching the tray.
“You mean to tell me, that here in New Jersey you can’t have peanut butter if you are under 14” I added
“Yes, allergies”
We stared at each other for a minute and then she said:
“I am not responsible for this. How am I to know that your children don’t in fact have a peanut allergy? I would be responsible for this act. They cannot have the peanut butter.”
We both looked at Claire and Jane who by this time had finished their peanut butter cookie and licking the leftover chocolate on the bottom of their mouths.
“They are going to be just fine”

my voice calmer and more collected. But I could see that she was so uptight and concerned about the whole thing and as I left she yelled:
“I am not responsible for this!”

Its offical, this state is nutty.