Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I was reading a book to Jane the other day, when I happened to look up. On my ceiling were three bugs of some sort. Since it was the morning, I obviously didn’t have my glasses/contacts on/in so I was squinting to see what it was. Too skinny to be flies, too long to be a mosquito, so I stood on top of the ceiling and saw it was a baby praying mantis!
I made this big huge deal and grabbed a container and caught all three. I examined them and showed them to my girls who in return thought they were pretty neat too.
As we admired the creepy things, I looked near my window where our Christmas tree (that we proudly cut down in Virginia) stood and noticed another mantis on the window. I walked nearer to the window to catch him and that’s when it happened.
I said a bad word.
The window was covered with mantis squirming all over each other like maggots. I felt a little breakfast oatmeal come zooming up my throat. And it happened like a horror film, I look on the window, loads of them with their beady eyes, long bodies, and delicate legs. Then my eyes take me to the ceiling (more mantis crawl) then I look at the top of the Christmas tree and my tree topper (vintage glitter birds) is covered with them. My eyes soar to ground where my bare feet crunch on mantis bodies. Eyes scan the whole tree itself only to my horror see the tree is covered with the creepiest bug on the planet: The freakin alien mantis.
I would be lying if I told you I was OK with this disaster, I did what any housewife would do. I called my husband at work,
Christian came home and we spent the entire evening and well into the night with our nice little shop vac sucking those little babies up.
Christian and I had a jolly time doing it! What satisfaction!
“Here’s one here hon.,”
I’d yell over the vac’s loud roar. Then in the back of my head I heard the mantis scream
“You scrooge, look what you are doing to me!! Especially at this most wonderful time of the year!”
Another would yell:
“Merry Christmas to you, you killer!”
We figure an egg was laid in the tree before we chopped it down that beautiful day in November. Then it hatched in our house sending free 400-1200 (yeah, I did a little research online) little crazies.
I still see a few now and then, but that is OK, I’m ok with one or two crawling around because I can take care of that with the roll of toilet paper I have hidden under the tree.